CREATING SACRED COMMUNITY

NO LONGER FEELING LIKE A STRANGER

2011-05-25T16:25:00.000-07:00

In recent years, several sociologists have studied what makes people feel welcomed into a congregation and what makes them feel like a stranger or an outsider. If you ever have been relatively new to a synagogue, you probably know the feeling. You can say "Shabbat Shalom" or "L'shanah tovah" to several men and women you barely know year after year, but you still might be feeling like you don't quite belong there...until something deeper happens that makes you feel connected intimately and personally with one or more members of the congregation.

What exactly can change the feeling of being a stranger and turn it into the feeling of being appreciated, cared about deeply, and included consistently?

ONE SUCCESSFUL WAY TO BECOME LESS ISOLATED

At Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood, there are numerous ways that this not-very-large but extremely-warm-and-welcoming group of people break down the barriers and make it possible for intimacy and connection to occur. One of the most enjoyable and successful methods for creating warmth and a feeling of closeness is occuring on Friday night, June 10th. Several members of the congregation will volunteer to host a variety of small but lively Shabbat dinners at their homes. Numerous members and non-members will be signing up and joining them as welcomed guests to enjoy the candles, the food, the conversations, and the intimacy of an at-home Shabbat gathering.

But how does it work? How in a large spread-out city like Los Angeles and in a medium-sized congregation like Ahavat Torah can the feeling of isolation and distance get transformed into a beautiful and memorable feeling of enjoying Shabbat with 6 or 10 or 14 people in a warm and welcoming home-cooked setting?

THE EXQUISITE LOGISTICS

The idea of creating at-home Shabbat dinners for members and non-members to enjoy in small groups began soon after Ahavat Torah formed 8 years ago. Arlene Rosenblatt started the tradition and she recalls, "It just seemed to be consistent with who we are. That we want to be able to get to know each other better and care about one another in a more personal way than you find at many larger temples." Arlene also wanted to make sure that the gatherings help people get to know men, women and families who live not too far from one another so that friendships and closeness could naturally develop.

Then for several years, Judy Weintraub helped to organize these Shabbat circles of warmth and celebration at various homes. Two or three times a year she would put out the word that several people were opening up their homes for honored guests to join them for a Shabbat gathering. Then during the candles, the songs, the conversations, and the sense of holiness, some friendships would begin or deepen, and many of the feelings of distance or isolation would dissolve away for those who were relatively new to the congregation or who had not yet found the chance to connect intimately with other participants from the congregation.

Now for the past year, Janice Batzdorff has volunteered to coordinate the logistics for these magical evenings in private homes. It's a two step process for which you are invited to contact Janice as soon as possible at (818) 506-4181 or RJBatz@aol.com.

The first step is that she will be compiling a list of people who want to host a gathering at their home on Friday night, June 10th. All you need to do is decide how many people you are comfortable having at your table (anywhere from 4 to 12 guests seems to be the norm), what kind of foods you would like people to bring, and then tell Janice you are saying yes to being a host or hostess. According to Janice, "It is completely up to the host as to what part of the potluck meal the guests bring. Some hosts send out an email that describes what is needed and they ask invitees to respond to the whole group in order to avoid duplication and to minimize the amount of 'organizing' the host does."

The second step (which happens simultaneously in the next several days) is that Janice is compiling a list of people who want to attend a small and intimate Shabbat dinner at someone's home on Friday night, June 10th. All you need to do is imagine yourself surrounded by warm and non-judgmental people who are interested in getting to know you better and having the chance to share good food, conversation, and songs with you. Then tell Janice you are saying yes to being a guest (and if you will need a ride or if you can offer someone else a ride).

At a precise moment of cosmic convergence, Janice will then match guests and hosts (somewhat by geography but with lots of possibilities for creative flexibility). She will then notify the hosts and give them a list of guests to contact. Either by phone or email, the hosts discuss with their guests what foods to bring and any other details about the Shabbat gathering they will be hosting.

MEMORIES AND NEW EXPERIENCES

Many members of Ahavat Torah Congregation can recall the wonderful feeling of being at the Shabbat dinners hosted by Gene, Marvin, and Kimball Marsh for many years at their home in the Fairfax district. At these warm and thought-provoking gatherings, the food, the songs, the conversations, and the sense of extended family created soulful memories that numerous congregants will never forget.

When I asked Janice Batzdorff what made her so interested in being the go-to person for these Shabbat gatherings, she told me, "When I was new at Ahavat Torah, I was assigned to Kimball's parents' home. I met people there who weren't going to services because of health reasons, and it was a treat to get to know them better. At a dinner I later hosted I also met the spouse of someone who regularly attends services, but whose spouse attends elsewhere. Again it was a blessing to get to know someone better in a less formal context. I also like the fact that since an attempt is made to assign people to a Shabbat gathering near their own home, it's a way to meet members who live nearby. These gatherings are more leisurely than other congregational events, so there's a chance to relax and truly enjoy Shabbat together."

THE SOONER THE BETTER

Please contact Janice as soon as possible to let her know if you would like to host, or to let her know that you would like to be invited to one of the hosts' homes on Friday night, June 10th. Don't wait too long because quite often the various Shabbat tables fill up quickly. In addition, it also makes the coordinator's job and the hosts' job much easier when people reply quickly and they can plan the food and other details with plenty of time to spare before June 10th.

Most of all, I hope you have a joyous and memorable Shabbat experience on Friday night, June 10th and that it becomes the beginning (or the deepening) of some nourishing friendships.

Are You a Joiner, a Loner, or a Hybrid?

2011-04-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

Usually each month this weblog describes one of the upcoming activities of our congregation. But this month it will explore why some of us are very active in group activities, why some of us prefer quiet and solitude, and why many of us enjoy a combination of quiet time and connecting time.

First, a quiz. As you think about your own personality and preferences, do you consider yourself:

--a joiner or an extravert who draws strength and energy from being part of a group or from connecting with numerous other people.

--a loner or an introvert who draws strength and energy from being apart from groups and having quiet solitude or you prefer one-on-one conversations rather than groups.

--a hybrid of the two, in which sometimes you turn on the gas to be part of a group and sometimes you cruise comfortably in private or alone moments.

THE JOINER'S POINT OF VIEW

In Judaism there is a lot of emphasis on the healing power of community. We bring mass quantities of food and conversation to people who are in mourning. We bring lots of family, friends, and strangers to our Seder tables and Shabbat dinners. We study the Torah together, we study Mussar ethics and character-improvement together, and we learn from one another constantly how to bring holiness and repair into the world. Especially in a loving community like Ahavat Torah Congregation, we reach out to one another during illnesses, setbacks, and tragedies. We also join together to celebrate and appreciate each other's birthdays, life cycle events, and triumphs over adversity.

THE BENEFITS OF SOLITUDE

On the other hand, many of us (myself included) are by nature introverts who re-charge our batteries more by quiet time alone or with one person at a time, rather than being thrust into group situations where the extraverts are more comfortable than we are.

In my own case, I was so much of an introvert when I was a teenager and my mom was dying of cancer, that I remember two songs on the radio for which I had a very strong reaction. The first was Barbra Streisand's "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world" (which I and many other introverts found to be the most threatening and uncomfortable idea imaginable). The second song was Simon and Garfunkel's "I am a rock, I am an island...and a rock feels no pain and an island never cries" (which I admit I secretly aspired to when I was a teen trying to become self-reliant).

Fortunately, time and experience have helped me to become more of a hybrid who still prefers alone time or one-on-one conversations, but I am finding that I learn more and grow more when I push myself to be part of group classes, group activities, or group prayers and meditations.

One of the things I love most about Ahavat Torah Congregation is that each month there are several choices of activities that appeal to the healing power of community along with respecting the diversity and uniqueness of each individual, whether we tend to be an introvert, an extravert, or a hybrid combination of the two.

CHOOSING WISELY EACH MONTH

Every seven days Dr. Julie Madorsky sends out a newsletter that is filled with beautiful illustrations and enticing descriptions of a variety of opportunities to nourish one's soul through the classes, activities, celebrations, discussion groups, and lively spiritual gatherings of Ahavat Torah Congregation.

Some people don't open the newsletter attachment. Some people open it and feel overwhelmed by the array of choices. Others pick and choose carefully so that each month they enjoy one, two, or more of the inspiring options being offered by this intimate but extremely active congregation.

Whether you are by nature a joiner, a loner, or a hybrid combination of these two traits, here is a suggestion on how to respond to the weekly newsletter sent to you through cyberspace and the weekly announcements you hear at the end of Shabbat services:

--Start by a kavannah or intention that says to yourself silently, "Somewhere in this list of activities and options is something that will be uplifting, memorable, and transformative for my soul in the next few weeks. Sh'ma, listen silently and carefully to which of these choices calls to my soul."

--Then make a commitment to yourself, write on your calendar, and RSVP for the one, two or three activities that call deeply to you.

--Make sure to invite one or two friends, relatives, or colleagues to join you at one or more of these events so that their souls also will be nourished and you will deepen your connection to these individuals through sharing these meaningful and inspiring moments with them.

--Without overcommitting your calendar or burning out, make sure you add to your life each month something that opens your mind, opens your heart, adds to your depth of Jewishness, and connects you with the Source that flows through each of these activities and each of these moments of connection. We are extremely blessed that we have so many exquisite choices in our busy lives. Even if sometimes you feel as if there is too much happening or too many choices, as Rabbi Miriam would say, "These are holy struggles."

Shavuah tov. May you and your loved ones have a very good week.

LEARNING FROM TWO COURAGEOUS INDIVIDUALS

2011-03-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

Every year at Passover Seders worldwide, the Haggadah tells of a child (or a part of ourselves) that says skeptically, "What does all this have to do with me?"

In response, the Seder participants say more than once, "Because we were oppressed, we need to stand up for those who are currently oppressed."

For many hundreds of years, Jews and non-Jews who attend Passover Seders (including Martin Luther King, Jr.) have been inspired by these words to find their own voice and their courage for speaking up against various forms of oppression that still exist in our modern age.

MAKING IT COME ALIVE IN YOUR OWN SITUATION

How exactly do you "stand up for those who are currently oppressed?" And what if it takes you beyond your comfort zone? Or what if you are a polite and conflict-avoidant person who doesn't like to make waves? Have you ever felt tongue-tied or unable to find the right method for doing something about a situation that touched your heart?

On Saturday, March 26th at 2 pm at Ahavat Torah (343 Church Lane in Brentwood near Sepulveda and Montana) you will have a rare opportunity to meet, talk with, and learn from two modern-day examples of how to stand up effectively and help people who are being oppressed.

Here's just a glimpse into the dramatic story of how two people from a small town in Texas have given us clues as to how to repair the world by refusing to sit idly by.

"SOMETHING DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS"

In July of 1999, the very popular sheriff of Tulia, Texas (population 5,000) rounded up 47 people (including 37 African Americans) and put them in jail as suspected drug dealers. The courts quickly sentenced these low-income individuals to long jail terms (some of them up to 90 years). Hardly anyone seemed to mind that all the accusations came from one undercover officer named Tom Coleman who didn't use a wire to record any conversations and who had major inconsistencies in his testimony, but who was then awarded "Lawman of the Year" by Texas Attorney General John Cornyn (who later became a well-known Senator from Texas).

In Tulia there was a white couple who felt uncomfortable with this rush to justice. Both Alan Bean and Nancy Bean were Baptist ministers. Nancy had grown up in Tulia before moving to Louisville, Kentucky where the two of them met during seminary school. Then Nancy and her husband Alan moved back to her hometown of Tulia in 1998 to raise their children and enjoy a simpler life.

But in 1999 when they admitted to themselves that "something didn't feel right" about this mass arrest of 47 local African Americans, they began asking questions and they formed a group called Friends of Justice.

At first their search for answers got them ignored by several national organizations that didn't want to get involved. Nancy and Alan were also shunned in their own community. Alan was unable to find work. Nancy described how, "I was teaching at the high school and the other teachers would rather stand during a meeting than sit at a table near me. We were even unwelcome at family gatherings of several of our relatives in Tulia."

Eventually their efforts to examine the evidence and seek justice for the 47 prison inmates led to two books, a documentary film, coverage by '60 Minutes' on CBS, and a new trial that exposed the faulty evidence. Currently there is a film being made about the arrests in Tulia, directed by John Singleton and starring Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton.

A CHANCE TO LEARN WHAT IT TAKES AND HOW IT'S DONE

Laurel Gord is a member of Ahavat Torah Congregation who has been active for many years in efforts for reforming the criminal justice system. After reading a book written by Reverend Alan Bean, she decided to invite him to be the speaker at a fundraiser for the Friends Committee on Legislation in California (which is a small organization trying to make an impact in criminal justice reform). Laurel contacted Alan and Nancy Bean, inviting them to stay in her guest room in Venice, and offering to have them lead a conversation at Ahavat Torah Congregation on Saturday March 26th.

According to Laurel, "I wanted to meet these two people and learn from them face-to-face how they did what they did. I tend to be very conflict-avoidant. So I wanted to hear their insights about how do we each stand up for what we feel strongly to be right, especially when a lot of people close to us disagree with us. How do we find a voice for what we sense needs to be done to stop what we know is wrong?"

ALL ARE WELCOME TO MEET THESE GENUINE AMERICAN HEROES

On Saturday afternoon at 2 pm you can attend whether you've been at Shabbat services (which start at 10 am), or if you've arrived in time for the pot-luck dairy lunch at 12:30 pm, or if you simply show up just prior to 2 pm. Please feel free to invite or bring anyone in your life (children, teens, young adults, or mature adults) who might also be inspired by meeting two people who have been successful at changing the way our society deals with questions of justice and fairness. Sometimes it only takes meeting one or two genuinely courageous individuals to strengthen our own courage and commitment that we all need for dealing with tough situations in our own lives.

THEN MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON THE ISSUES THAT HAVE TOUCHED YOUR OWN HEART

During the next few days and weeks, there will probably be several opportunities to seek the right words and the right actions to deal with situations that matter deeply to you. For example, the Social Action Committee of Ahavat Torah is inviting us all to participate in two extremely moving and inspiring events that are coming up very soon:

--A FILM THAT BUILDS BRIDGES BETWEEN SEVERAL TYPES OF SURVIVORS.

At the Museum of Tolerance (co-sponsored by Jewish World Watch and Uri L'Tzedek) on Sunday night March 27th at 7 pm there will be a screening of the award-winning film "The Last Survivor," which tells the stories of four different genocides and the need to make sure we don't stand idly by. The film follows a few survivors of four different genocides (the European Holocaust, Rwanda, Darfur, and Congo) to awaken each of us to the need to take effective action whenever possible. The film screening will be followed by a question and answer session with the filmmakers and various activists in Genocide Prevention and Awareness.

--A CHANCE TO WALK TO STOP THE CURRENT GENOCIDES IN AFRICA. On Sunday morning April 10th at Warner Center Park in Woodland Hills there will be a major walk and rally to let the world know that we won't sit idly by while women are being raped and innocent people are being tortured in the attacks on innocent civilians in Darfur, a part of the Sudan, and in the Congo, where tribes that are trying to control the minerals that go into our cell phones and computers are using violence against innocents to gain access to these precious minerals. You will recall that last year Ahavat Torah Congregation held an all-day information session about how to be more effective in making sure that Conflict-Free Minerals become the norm in affluent nations and that the rape and torture in the Congo is stopped.

Last year over 2,000 people from several synagogues, schools, and other groups participated in this walk sponsored by Jewish World Watch. We are hoping for an excellent show of support on April 10th so that the media and the political leaders will recognize this as something "that has a lot to do with us."

Even though Ahavat Torah is a relatively small congregation, we have had a large presence at many Jewish World Watch events and once again this year we will be meeting and walking together under the yellow Ahavat Torah banner created by Rabbi Miriam Hamrell. We will meet at 8:30 am at the Warner Center Park in Woodland Hills (there is free parking at 21725 Califa Street in the AMPCO parking facility) or you can meet up at 8 am at the Ahavat Torah parking lot in Brentwood to carpool.

Or if you cannot attend but want to donate to Jewish World Watch for their excellent work to build even larger coalitions for a reduction of violence in Darfur and the Congo, please visit the Jewish World Watch website or http://www.walktoendgenocide.org/

For more information about the inspiring presentation by Reverends Alan and Nancy Bean at 2 pm on Saturday, March 26th, you can contact Laurel Gord at laurelgord@gmail.com.

For more information about the April 10th Walk to End Genocide, you can contact Sasha Firman at sashafir@yahoo.com or Vivian Gold at vgold@ucla.edu.

But most importantly, don't let your tongue be tied by fear or hesitation when something touches your heart. We now have several teachers and several opportunities on how to get our voices heard.

A NEW EVENT NOT TO BE MISSED

2011-02-17T16:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever longed for an evening where your soul got nourished, your taste buds were smiling, and you felt transported to another place with a sense of timelessness?

Next Friday night, February 25th from 6:30 until 9 pm, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus will be leading the first-ever "Soul Shabbat" evening, sponsored by Ahavat Torah Congregation and open to anyone who has a soul, some taste buds, and a desire to try something new and different.

Originally scheduled for January, this creative approach to doing Shabbat in a new way had to be rescheduled for logistical reasons. But now all the elements are coming together for a beautiful evening in which numerous congregation members, friends, relatives, guests, and new acquaintances will join together to experience what Rabbi Miriam has described as, "The warmth and friendliness of a home-cooked Shabbat dinner with all the delicious foods, spiritual meaningfulness, and soul-nourishing conversations. But at a 'Soul Shabbat,' it will be done in a warm and welcoming room large enough for everyone gathered to feel the sense of love and peacefulness of Shabbat together as one."

The dinner, music, conversations, and celebration will be held in the Westwood Hills Congregational Church, 1989 Westwood Boulevard, 90025, which is on the corner of Westwood and LaGrange between Olympic and Santa Monica Boulevards. The gathering will include:

--delicious food prepared with love, including kosher chicken for the omnivores and numerous delicious choices for the vegetarians, along with appetizers and desserts from both the European and Sephardic traditions of Shabbat recipes. In other words, everything from soup to rugalah will be offered.

--live Klezmer music (with Gustavo Bulgach and his Klezmer Juice musicians who combine Eastern European, Latino, and world music rhythms), along with Hasidic storytelling and a lively discussion led by Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, who is also a renowned playwright and storyteller (her plays include "The Survivor," "The Orphan Train," and the stage version of "The Phantom Tollbooth.")

--inspiring teachings and conversations led by Rabbi Miriam Hamrell, who has been hosting wonderful dinners in her home for many years and now is bringing her wisdom and her warmth to a larger gathering.

--a participatory candle lighting and lots of participatory singing, including a guest cantor and the always-passionate voices of Ahavat Torah members and friends.

--a suggestion to wear white and feel a connection to your pure soul.

DETAILS: The dinner and evening costs $18 per person by mail (sent to Ahavat Torah Congregation, Post Office Box 442, Santa Monica CA 90406. Please note on your check that this is for the Soul Shabbat. Or you can pay by credit card with a 3% processing fee added if you call Arlene at 310 429-6817). Or there is a $20 charge per person at the door.

--VERY IMPORTANT: Please RSVP as soon as possible to make sure the volunteer shoppers, cooks, and balabusta team of women and men know how many people to cook for on Friday February 25th. Let Arlene and the team know the number of people who will be joining you (friends, family, colleagues) by calling 310 429-6817.

DON'T MISS THIS: Whether you've enjoyed two thousand Shabbat evenings or this is your first opportunity to experience the joy of letting go and breathing in holiness on a Friday night, you are welcome at this memorable and inspiring "Soul Shabbat." Until then, have a good week...a week of peace.

----For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation or its celebrations, the weekly Shabbat services, ongoing classes and study groups, social action programs, and cultural events, please visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/. Or call 310 362-1111 to receive the free weekly newsletter of events, classes, holidays, celebrations, and relevant teachings.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF SHABBAT

2011-01-12T16:06:00.000-08:00

For several years, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell has had an idea that kept reappearing in her mind. Her recurring idea has been, "What if there were a way to experience the warmth and friendliness of a home-cooked Shabbat dinner with all the delicious foods, spiritual meaningfulness, and soul-nourishing conversations. But what if it could be done in a warm and welcoming room large enough for congregants, guests, good friends, and brand new visitors all to feel the sense of love and peacefulness of Shabbat together as one."

So Rabbi Miriam talked with the Board of Directors of her congregation and then brainstormed with Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, who happens to be a Broadway playwright and Jewish storyteller along with being a soon-to-be rabbi. (Among Susan's many writings are The Survivor, The Orphan Train, and the stage version of The Phantom Tollbooth)

Together they came up with a new and different way of experiencing a unique "Soul Shabbat" that is happening for the very first time on Friday night, (at a date to be announced soon but not the January 28th date that needed to be rescheduled) from 6:30 pm to 9 pm. All are welcome, whether you are a long-time congregant, an occasional visitor, a first-time guest, or someone who has never fully tasted the foods and spiritual depth of what Shabbat is capable of being.

WHAT EXACTLY IS A SOUL SHABBAT?

I interviewed Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus to ask them, "Why is this Shabbat different from most other Shabbats?"

Here's what they described as the key ingredients to this first of many "Soul Shabbats" (that will be held on the last Friday night of each month with a different creative theme each new month):

INGREDIENT #1: THE FOOD TO BE PREPARED WITH LOVE

Rabbi Miriam and Rabbinic Intern Susan have come up with a diverse menu for the Soul Shabbat as "the full spread from soup to rugalah, from hummus to brownies." There will be kosher and tender "balabusta" chicken for the omnivores and numerous delicious choices for the vegetarians. There will be Israeli appetizers and desserts that bring in the flavors of both the European and Sephardic traditions of Shabbat recipes.

But the rabbinic planners insist the key aspect of the food will be the love, wisdom and teamwork in the preparation process. In the weekly newsletter of Ahavat Torah Congregation recently, there was a small item that said, "Shabbat Cooking with Rabbi Miriam. So you always wanted to learn to cook and set-up a wonderful Friday night Shabbat table and dinner? Here is your opportunity at 2:30 pm on Friday (on the date of the rescheduled Soul Shabbat, but not on the January 28th date that needed to be rescheduled). For this class, group size is limited to the first 6 callers."

Since this is an egalitarian congregation (especially when it comes to cooking and cleaning up), therefore men and women, great cooks as well as klutzes are all welcome in the cooking class. These 6 volunteers at the first Soul Shabbat will probably bond for life from braiding the challah bread and preparing the many courses of the meal together. Please don't worry if you aren't one of the first 6 callers to the Rabbi to RSVP to be at the first cooking class; your next chance will probably be in February and then you will be able to bond for life with your own cooking team of volunteers.

Rabbi Miriam also explained that because the food is being prepared with love, enjoyment, and teamwork, it will also be served family style at each table with every person who attends the Soul Shabbat being an equal partner in serving one another and being served these delicious treats.

INGREDIENT #2: THE ATMOSPHERIC STORY-TELLING AND MUSIC

In addition to the food, this Soul Shabbat will include an eye-opening and thought-provoking Hasidic story from Isaac Bashevis Singer, passionately adapted and told by Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus and accompanied with traveling music from the well-known musical group Klezmer Juice. (The bandleader of Klezmer Juice is an Argentinian born Jew named Gustavo Bulgach who now lives in Los Angeles and travels internationally playing the melodies of Eastern Europe as well as Latino and world music rhythms).

When was the last time you went to a dinner that had live Klezmer music, Hasidic stories, and a beloved storyteller stirring up a lively discussion? By the end of the evening, you might be able to see your life's journey and your soul's longings in a new light as a result of this atmospheric story-telling.

INGREDIENT #3: THE BEAUTIFUL DEEPER MEANINGS OF EACH PART OF THE EVENING

At various moments during the evening, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell will make each aspect of the Shabbat come alive for you and the people you are meeting at your table with a few words about the kavanot (or deeper meanings and holy intentions) of the candle lighting, the prayers, the connecting rituals, and the songs we will enjoy together.

It doesn't matter whether this is your first Shabbat dinner or your two thousandth Shabbat dinner. The brief teachings, discussions, and deeper meanings will be accessible and inspiring no matter what background or experiences you bring to the evening. You will probably find that your future Shabbat dinners (that you host or attend in your own style) will be enhanced by what you learn at this Soul Shabbat.

INGREDIENT #4: THE SENSE OF BEAUTY AND WHOLENESS

One of the themes of any Jewish Shabbat is to envision and practice what it will feel like when the world is healed and we are all living in harmony. So at this Soul Shabbat evening, you are encouraged to wear a white shirt or a white blouse or outfit. You will see flowers and other special preparations to make this night a bit different from the other nights of the week. You will look into caring faces and hear inspiring words that you might not be seeing or hearing on most other nights. You will be part of a unique gathering where each voice is treated with respect and each person's point of view is heard with openness.

Ahavat Torah Congregation was formed only eight years ago with the intention of creating a community of "One Torah, One People, Many Teachers." With participants from all branches of Judaism, this new congregation has been growing each year because it keeps coming up with innovative ways to respect the diversity among us while at the same time honoring and learning more about the wisdom of our traditions. In this congregation, there doesn't tend to be a hierarchy of insiders and outsiders, big makhers and little makhers, because each person is treated as someone with gifts and insights to share.

HOW TO RSVP (and please respond AS SOON AS POSSIBLE because space is limited):

If you would like to experience the first ever Soul Shabbat dinner and evening, or to invite a few friends or family members to join you, all you need to do is call Arlene at 310 429-6817 or email arlenesid@gmail.com. The suggested donation at the door is $18 per person for the food and the sacred space we are creating together. If you are feeling generous, you are welcome to donate more than $18 toward the creation of this new event. Or if you are feeling concerned about funds lately, please give whatever you can afford, and you can trust that someone else will make up the difference.

DIRECTIONS TO AHAVAT TORAH CONGREGATION AT 343 CHURCH LANE IN BRENTWOOD:

The social hall of the building at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood 90049 is just west of the 405 Freeway a half mile south of Sunset Blvd., one block west of Sepulveda Blvd, and one block north of Montana. If you are travelling north on Sepulveda you pass Wilshire and turn left a half mile north of Wilshire onto Montana (which has a traffic light). After taking Montana Avenue under the 405 bridge, you turn right quickly on Church Lane. You will see the building in one short block and there are two small parking lots that fill up quickly as well as street parking.

PLEASE NOTE ONCE AGAIN: The January 28th Soul Shabbat had to be rescheduled. Details for the next Soul Shabbat date will be coming soon.

--For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation, please visit the website at http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/.

--To receive the free weekly newsletter of events, classes, services, rabbinic teachings, and social action projects, please visit the website or call 310 362-1111.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, and Something Blue

2010-12-29T15:44:00.000-08:00

Most Jews today have never heard about Mussar. I went to Hebrew school for 12 years and never heard even once that there was a profound Jewish way of improving one's character habits, or that this method was developed over several hundreds of years with specific guidelines on how to become more mindful and balanced (even when you're faced with complicated, stressful moments or difficult, self-absorbed people).

What about you? Did you grow up in a family or a congregation where they explored with you the many fascinating Jewish teachings and tools on how to have integrity, strength, and compassion even in very difficult situations? Did you learn how to examine and improve the character traits (such as anger, impatience, moodswings, pride, judgmentalness, being a pushover, or being too rigid) that were causing trouble for you or the people you interact with in public or in private? Did you know there were brilliant writings and useful steps on how to make sure you were walking the walk and not just talking the talk?

Here in a quick summary is some information about the Mussar (character refinement) practices of Judaism and where you can find out more on how to study Mussar in an enjoyable and life-affirming way:

THE MYSTICAL ASPECT--WHY IT'S SOMEWHAT LIKE A WEDDING

On one level, Mussar or character improvement is extremely practical. It's about how to stay centered, compassionate, and effective, even when life or an irritating person is testing you.

At the same time on a mystical or spiritual level, Mussar study is like a holy wedding or a joining together of two beloved partners. One partner is you the human being who has a pure soul and a few complicated personality traits (that could definitely still use a little improvement no matter what chronological age we are). The other partner at this moment of joining together is the Eternal One, the creative Source of the universe, and this beloved One needs us to examine and repair what's broken between us or blocking the flow of light, so we can keep repairing the fragile world which is still somewhat unfinished.

According to one of the early Mussar teachers, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato, we human beings become sh'lemut (whole or complete) when we examine and transform our individual self by connecting more deeply with the expansive and unlimited Self that we call HaShem. Like most holy weddings, this search for a deeper connection, unification, or beloved partnership is an exciting and somewhat risky process that includes something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue, such as:

SOMETHING OLD

Some of the brilliant writings and guidance that we study in a Mussar class or discussion group are thousands or hundreds of years old. They come from the Torah, the Mishneh, the Talmud, the Medieval sages, and the many modern teachers of how to live each day with integrity, goodness, and perspective. What the Mussar scholars and teachers have done is to arrange these sayings, debates, and teachings in a way that it speaks to the personality traits and character struggles that you and I face in our lives today. When you study in a Mussar class how to be more patient, more effective, and less reactive with your awkward brother-in-law, or your less-than-sensitive neighbor, or an ex-spouse, or a noodgy person in the market, you discover that there are gems of wisdom and useful guidelines from ancient sages that can be applied to your everyday dilemmas here and now.

For example, at Ahavat Torah Congregation in the Mussar class and discussion group that has been meeting each Saturday morning from 9-10 a.m. in the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane in Brentwood prior to Shabbat services, there have been some fascinating conversations about how to deal with real-life situations in which someone in your family or a long-time friend says or does something which gets on your nerves.

Each week Rabbi Miriam Hamrell (or Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus when Rabbi Miriam is out of town) leads the discussion group in exploring many relevant ancient and modern gems of wisdom on how to deal with here-and-now challenges and dilemmas. The Mussar class each week is not only an enjoyable way to learn more about many centuries of practical Jewish wisdom, but also a focused way of exploring what habits and tendencies we each want to keep improving in ourselves.

Every participant in the discussion class (whether this person has been attending often, not so often, or is there for the first time) is treated with respect and each person's insights into these ethical and interpersonal dilemmas are taken seriously. Over the past four years of Ahavat Torah's Mussar class, there tends to be great diversity of opinion and background in each of the conversations, yet an atmosphere of mutual respect and caring has been consistent in these weekly discussions.

SOMETHING NEW

(Please note there is no Mussar class on Saturday morning, January 1st and Shabbat services will begin at 10:30 a.m. on January 1st only).

The new development is that starting during one of the upcoming Saturday mornings in January from 9-10 a.m. (before Shabbat services), the Mussar class and discussion group of Ahavat Torah Congregation will begin a new phase of bringing a very modern 21st century perspective to the ancient teachings. Members, non-members, and guests are all welcome and there is no payment or prerequisite necessary for showing up at a Mussar discussion group.

Starting as soon as the discussion group completes its current exploration of the varieties of "tikkun olam" (based on the writings of Rabbi Elliott Dorff of American Jewish University), the weekly Mussar class will be using a relatively new book entitled EVERYDAY HOLINESS: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar, which was written by Alan Morinis and published in 2007. Please feel free to show up at the next Mussar class on January 8, 2011 and be part of the conversation about the deeper meanings of "tikkun olam," which will soon transition into the topic of "Everyday Holiness and the Path of Mussar."

Every few months for the past four years, the Mussar class has looked at a different book to spark each week's discussions of how to live with integrity and wholeness during challenging moments. Based on the recommendation of Rabbi Miriam Hamrell, Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, and several of the participants in the Mussar class, it was decided in December to start reading and discussing Alan Morinis' teachings on how to refine one's character in the 21st century using Mussar wisdom.

SOMETHING BORROWED

In his books and his workshops, Alan Morinis draws from thousands of years of Jewish writings and teachings to come up with 21st century options for dealing with tough situations and stubborn character traits within ourselves. In a sense, he borrows from the best rabbis, teachers, and study groups in Jewish history to bring a very accessible and useful set of steps to our modern lives and daily challenges.

As described in his earlier book "Climbing Jacob's Ladder" (published in 2002), Morinis was raised in Toronto in a family that was culturally and politically Jewish but not very religious or spiritual. During college and as a Rhodes scholar in England, Morinis studied anthropology, Hinduism, and human pilgrimmages, which he then taught at a university in Vancouver while raising two daughters with his wife who is a medical doctor. Then he became involved in a charitable foundation and eventually became an award-winning documentary film producer. But despite numerous successes and cinematic awards, Morinis hit a low point when his film corporation went through a financial tailspin that resulted in bitter disputes between various executives and investors.

According to Morinis, being raised in an ethical Jewish home and knowing what it means to be a mensch didn't quite prepare him for the extremely stressful pressures of coping with a company on the brink of ruin and the tensions it placed on his personal life and friendships. So he began to look deeper into various Jewish teachings on how to live with integrity and wholeness even when life becomes quite chaotic.

In "Climbing Jacob's Ladder" he describes how, "One evening I came to a chapter on the Mussar movement and I wanted to know more about it. As I continued my reading, a new (and very old) world opened up before me. I learned that Mussar is a path of spiritual practice that had developed within the Orthodox Jewish tradition over the last thousand years. It tells us that at our core we are all holy, and it shows us ways to change those qualities within us that obstruct the light of our holiness from shining through. It assures us that we are not condemned to live forever with every aspect of the personality we happen to have right now, but that we can make the changes that will set free the radiance of our inner light. And it provides a tool-bag of personal, introspective, and transformative practices that will lead us, step by step, along the path of purification and change."

For the next several years, Morinis realized he needed a rabbinic guide and a deeply honest discussion group in order to truly learn and practice Mussar. So he began to travel for days at a time to study with a revered teacher in New York, Rabbi Yechiel Yitzchok Perr. While Morinis' first book "Climbing Jacob's Ladder" describes his many years of learning, wrestling with, and living the Mussar teachings, his second book "Everyday Holiness" spells out the steps involved in "making the changes that will set free the radiance of our inner light." Currently a widely-requested speaker and teacher worldwide, Morinis has become a bridge-builder between the modern perspective of those raised in liberal or secular Jewish homes and the many centuries of Jewish teachings and debates on how to practice Mussar character refinement.

SOMETHING BLUE

Now here comes the important first step if you want to be a part of this holy wedding between your soul and the Soul of the universe. Whether you decide to become a consistent participant in the weekly Mussar discussion group, or an occasional participant, or a once-in-a-blue-moon participant, you will benefit enormously by purchasing as soon as possible a copy of "Everyday Holiness" and bringing it with you to the class. This blue and gold book containing Jewish wisdom and practical steps for wholeness is available at a significant discount on Amazon.com and you can arrange a quick link giving a share of the cost of the book to the fundraising of Ahavat Torah Congregation.

You will find at Amazon.com that there are used hardcover copies for $8-$16 or new copies of the paperback edition for $13-$18. Since it usually takes Amazon 4-6 days to send a book to you, or it might take a week or two if you order the book through your local bookstore, make sure to order your own copy of "Everyday Holiness" as soon as possible so that you'll be ready when the Mussar class begins its conversations of these inspiring teachings.

Morinis' book has chapters on how to improve the way you find balance in many character challenges, including: humility, patience, gratitude, compassion, order, equanimity, honor, simplicity, enthusiasm, silence, generosity, truth, moderation, lovingkindness, responsibility, trust, faith, and yirah (fear/awe). There are also clear directions on how to set up a daily, weekly, or yearly accounting of how you are doing on the soul traits that you want to improve while there's still time.

Please don't feel you are locked into a permanent obligation if you come to the Mussar class at Ahavat Torah Congregation when and if you are able. No one judges anyone in this class (especially since one of the character traits we explore is judgmentalness). You will be welcomed each time you show up and if for any reason you don't have a copy of the blue and gold book in your hand you will most likely find someone offering to share his or her copy.

But you might find (as many other Ahavat Torah members, non-members, and guests have found) that there is something exquisitely transforming about arriving at 9 a.m. on a Shabbat morning and starting the day with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell leading us in an opening meditation where we let go of what's outside the room and we then connect with the joy of being able to study the words of our tradition together for the pursuit of peace and wholeness.

May you be blessed with a healthy and wonderful new year, guided by the wisdom that is available to us if we find the right teachers and study partners to help us keep learning and growing in every decade of life.

---For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation and directions to 343 Church Lane in Brentwood, please visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or call 310 362-1111 and ask to be put on the free list for receiving the weekly newsletter of classes, events, and celebrations.

EXPERIENCING THE PRAYER SERVICE WITH NEW EYES

2010-11-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

A few years ago a woman said to me after Shabbat services, "I wish I could connect better with the words and deeper meanings of the prayer book. But my Hebrew isn't so good and I find some of the English translations a bit cold."

Does that ever happen for you? Have you ever been sitting in a Shabbat service and specific words of the prayer book seemed formal, distant, or alienating?

Or do you know someone who has had trouble opening up to the passionate prayers and songs that are one of the key Jewish ways for connecting with the ever-flowing mysterious Presence that is beyond human words and concepts?

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Fortunately, there are several ways to make progress on this lifelong opportunity for experiencing more moments of transcendence and joy. One way to look at the Shabbat services is to envision that each week (or each time you are at a prayer service) is a chance to use specific phrases and melodies to connect your individual soul with the hard-to-describe creative Soul of the universe. Each Shabbat service is a chance to shift our narrow human awareness into a more expansive awareness in order to notice more of the blessings and goodness that are easy to overlook or take for granted during the hectic pace of 21st century living.

Here are a few options for you (or the person in your life who struggles with prayer and ritual) to go deeper into the many layers of richness that can be found in the Shabbat prayer service:

--OPTION ONE: PICK A SPECIFIC PHRASE OR WORD THAT MOVES YOU ON THIS PARTICULAR WEEK AND THEN SPEND A FEW MOMENTS EXPLORING WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU. Quite often at Shabbat services at Ahavat Torah Congregation, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell asks all who are in attendance to pick one or a few words that have an extra dose of meaning and significance on this particular day. It might be a phrase in the prayer book that you've always raced through habitually, but today it comes alive with new meaning and emotion because of Rabbi Miriam's invitation to go deeper. Or it might be a word or phrase that never touched your soul previously, but today it brings up memories, discoveries, aspirations, or a sense of curiosity that sets you on an inspiring string of positive thoughts and actions. Suddenly the prayer service begins to connect with your kishkas and your heart.

--OPTION TWO: SELECT A WORD OR PHRASE THAT BAFFLES YOU, OFFENDS YOU, OR LEAVES YOU FEELING DISTANT. You can also begin to explore the deeper meanings and possible re-visioning of those particular words that formerly frustrated you. If a word or phrase in the prayer service is problematic for you, you can talk with Rabbi Miriam, or with Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, or with another person in the congregation who also takes these words to heart and connects with them deeply. From your conversations at the oneg lunch, or during the week, you might then be able to understand a formerly-baffling phrase in a new light and with a strong sense of inspiring meaning that it never had for you previously.

For example, many times when I was younger and had hair on my head, I would read during services a prayer that spoke of "God's majesty" and the only interpretation that came to mind was an anthropomorphic image of a king who was harsh and arbitrary in his decrees. I would recoil a bit because I felt this image of a human-like king was a bit old-fashioned.

Then several years ago I was intrigued by a workshop I took about Hebrew prayer meanings and interpretations. I learned that one of the many ways to hear the traditional words describing "God's majesty" is to envision the beauty of creation that is unfolding daily, or the majestic order and brilliance of the earth, lunar, and star formations, or the amazing compassion and love that comes from a mysterious Source and spreads through the acts of kindness by human beings near and far.

Now when I am in a prayer service and I come upon one of the many phrases that praise God's majesty, I usually feel an immediate connection to either the smells of night-blooming jasmine in the Springtime, or the color of the leaves falling in Autumn, or the smile on a loved one's face, or the creative flow that is continually expressing itself in humans, plants, animals, and the ever-changing winds and tides. Suddenly the prayer service is no longer about a king issuing decrees, but rather about giving thanks and praise to a creative Source that surrounds us with blessings constantly and that we can remember to stop and notice these awe-inspiring gifts from an ultimate Source.

--OPTION THREE: JOIN A NEW CLASS BEING OFFERED TO BOOST YOUR FLUENCY WITH PRAYER BOOK HEBREW OR TO HELP YOU DISCOVER MORE OF THE SPIRITUAL MEANINGS OF THE TRADITIONAL PRAYERS OF OUR PEOPLE. Right now Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Rena Jaffe are leading a new very-accessible and enjoyable weekly study session on Tuesday mornings from 10-12:15 at Rena's home in Santa Monica entitled, "The Ahavat Torah All In One Class." The first portion of each week's class will explore "Decoding the Spiritual Meaning of Shabbat Prayer" with Rabbi Miriam. The second portion of each week's study session will include "Learning to Read Hebrew" with Rena Jaffe. The third portion of each week's gathering will explain how to learn and review Torah trope. Some people attend all three portions and others focus just on one or two of the topics. In addition, those who are interested in having an Adult B'nei Mitzvah celebration in June 2011 will get a good portion of their training at these study sessions. For information about the class and the low-cost suggested fees for members and non-members, please see the weekly newsletter or call Rena at 310 450-5225.

(Please note that if enough people express an interest in this much-requested class on going deeper into the words of prayer, Torah, and blessings, Rabbi Miriam and Rena might add a second class at a different time of the week. Please let them know if you are interested).

--OPTION FOUR: DON'T BE SHY ABOUT ASKING FOR DIVERSE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH THE HOLY WORDS OF OUR PEOPLE. Remember, the word "Yisra-El" means to wrestle or strive with the One that is beyond human description. If you ever feel distant or alienated from a particular word or phrase of prayer or Torah, we Jews are supposed to wrestle with it and dig deeper rather than shutting down your heart or mind. In Judaism, it's perfectly appropriate to discuss and explore your doubts, your uncertainties, and your concerns about how to connect with HaShem, the mysterious One that we humans are seeking to emulate.

In the 1990's book "Stalking Elijah" by Rodger Kamenetz (who earlier wrote "The Jew in the Lotus" about the Dalai Lama learning from several Jewish rabbis how to keep a spiritual tradition alive even when many of one's people are in exile from their homeland), the author came to Los Angeles several times to study with various rabbis about how to open up his heart. As described in the book, Kamenetz had felt somewhat shut down emotionally and cut off spiritually from Jewish prayer and ritual ever since he and his wife lost an infant child and they felt their prayers were unanswered.

In "Stalking Elijah," Kamenetz describes a specific prayer suggested to him by Rabbi Jonathan Omer-Man for reconnecting with the One whom Kamenetz had longed for but felt had not responded. Omer-Man said essentially that the best way to reconnect with Jewish spirituality is to say as strongly and sincerely as possible, "Please God, open my heart." Even if you have doubts about God and prayer, this calling out from a deep wounded place of profound longing in order to re-experience the flow of blessings and love that had felt out of reach is a key Jewish method for reawakening your spiritual life. Kamenetz tried this out for several months before he finally experienced the prayers of Judaism in a new light.

As described by Jonathan Omer-Man and many other Jewish teachers, when we offer up prayers of longing, thanks and awe for the blessings that surround us daily, we begin to heal some of the scar tissue that surrounds our hearts from all of our losses and disappointments. When we say with sincerity and passion, "Please God, open my heart," we begin to connect with an ultimate Creative Source that is beyond words and concepts.

May your hearts be opened substantially by the classes you take and the questions you ask about how to continually deepen your connection to prayer and Jewish teachings. And may it lead toward the healing of whatever wounds and longings that you carry on your heart.

(Please feel free to forward this blog article to anyone in your life who might find it useful or thought-provoking).

--For more information about Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Ahavat Torah Congregation: One Torah, Many Teachers, One Community, please log onto www.ahavattorahcongregation.org or call 310 362-1111. Be sure to request the weekly newsletter that has numerous creative options for celebration, study, and connection.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

2010-10-11T09:12:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, people used to sit at home and wait for Ed Sullivan or Oprah Winfrey to decide what was inspiring and worth viewing. But now with so many diverse choices and so little time to waste, many people have become more selective as to what they find inspiring and what they want to spend time viewing.

One of the benefits of being involved in a community of intelligent and creative adults in West Los Angeles in 2010 is that you get to learn about new and interesting ways of being inspired. For example, at Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood/Westwood, a diverse community founded in 2003 and based on the idea of "One People, One Torah, Many Teachers," there are numerous choices each month that can connect you with artistic, spiritual, intellectual, and joyful moments of celebrating life in all its diversity.

SOME WONDERFUL OPTIONS

If you just look at the two months of October and November 2010, you will find that there are an amazing number of ways to nourish your soul, your mind, and your health by the offerings of this small but very active congregation.

On October 10th there was a salon discussion with two remarkable poets. One is Jean Katz, the former President of Ahavat Torah Congregation, who for many years has been writing and publishing well-crafted poems that sort out the chaotic feelings of being a wise and vulnerable woman and she turns these emotions into thought-provoking word portraits that capture what all of us go through during the ups and downs of life. The second poet at that sold-out salon on October 10th was Florence Weinberger, the aunt of Ahavat Torah member Judith Weinberger, and the author of numerous highly-praised books of poetry.

On Tuesday night October 5th and Tuesday night October 12th from 7-9 pm, there is a prayer-meditation-movement workshop with Ahavat Torah member Paulette Rochelle-Levy, entitled "Dancing with the Divine." In the Fireside Room of the Temple at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood, she explores how to combine breathing, movement, prayer and meditation to draw closer to the One who connects us all. RSVP to Paulette at 310 453-4053 or Paulette453@earthlink.net.

On Tuesday nights October 26th, November 9th, November 16th, November 23rd, and November 30th from 7-9 pm in the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane, there will be a class and discussion about Martin Buber, the author of "I and Thou" on how to find ourselves and deepen our aliveness and purpose through our relationship with the Eternal One. It will be led by Ahavat Torah member Sophia Avants, currently a graduate student at American Jewish University. The first class is open to all and Sophia will begin with a biographical introduction to Buber and the Chassidic influences on his theories. RSVP to Sophia at 323 934-4757 or savants@ajula.edu.

On Sunday, October 31st from 2-5 pm at the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane, there will be a viewing of the Israeli film "Sweet Mud" (Adama Meshuga'at with sub-titles) and then a discussion of how it compares and contrasts to the film "Never Let Me Go," which participants should go see prior to October 31st at a local theatre. RSVP to Aharon at 310 827-4902 or anachshon.astext@att.net.

On Sunday, November 7th at 2pm at the Electric Lodge in Venice, the play "The Survivor" will be performed. Written by Ahavat Torah Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, who has written numerous produced scripts for live theatre and for TV and film, it is based on the memoirs of holocaust survivor Jack Eisner and it is the true story of a gang of teenage smugglers in the Warsaw Ghetto. To reserve seats, send a check for $28 per person to Shoshi Wilchfort at 2354 Roscomare Road, Los Angeles 90077. There will be a wine and cheese reception and discussion after the play with some of the actors, Rabbi Miriam and the playwright Susan Nanus.

If all those creative choices make you feel like taking a relaxing break, then you'll definitely want to sign up for the Ahavat Torah Retreat Weekend which will be from Friday night November 19th until Sunday afternoon November 21st at the beautiful Holy Spirit Retreat Center in Encino. Imagine yourself unwinding and being nourished by good food, inspiring services, great discussions, quiet moments, and fun arts and music activities with a welcoming community that weekend in a tranquil setting where there are ducks, trees, strolling walking trails, and a sense of holiness away from the city streets.

Please see the weekly newsletter for details on the Retreat and all the other events listed above.

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Ahavat Torah Congregation meets each Saturday morning at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood for a Mussar (ethics) class at 9 am prior to the lively participatory Shabbat services at 10 am followed by a pot luck dairy lunch. All are welcome.

For more information, please log onto www.ahavattorahcongregation.org or call 310 362-1111.

WHAT DO WE REMEMBER ABOUT OUR LOVED ONES?

2010-08-22T14:49:00.000-07:00

There are many awe-inspiring moments on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, including:
--the soul-stirring melodies,
--the chance to look at one's life and the upcoming year from a big-picture perspective,
--the opportunity to go deeper into healing some old or new wounds from people who hurt us recently or long ago,
--the sacredness of pouring out your most heartfelt concerns and your hopes to the mysterious One who is beyond words, yet feels like an even stronger Presence on these days of awe,
--and the joy of being part of a caring community that seeks to repair the world in creative and effective ways.

No wonder the vast majority of Jews show up for the High Holy Days even if they've felt somewhat estranged from organized religion for much of the year.

ONE OF THE MOST MISUNDERSTOOD AND AWE-INSPIRING MOMENTS

Possibly the most misunderstood moment of the High Holy Days is the Yizkor (memorial) service on the afternoon of Yom Kippur. The word "yizkor" comes from the word "zakhor" (remember) and it refers not only to the act of remembering and honoring our loved ones who are no longer in physical form, but also to remember to perform acts of loving-kindness in their memory.

According to Dr. Ron Wolfson of American Jewish University, "Originally, Yizkor was recited only on Yom Kippur. Its primary purpose was to remember the deceased by committing to give tzedakah (charity or justice) funds on the theory that good deeds of the survivors elevate the souls of the departed. It also enhanced the chances for personal atonement by doing a deed of loving-kindness."

Yet there has also been a long-standing superstition about the Yizkor service that many people recall from their childhood. At many synagogues, the Yizkor prayers and ceremonies tend to have a very somber, fearful, or anxiety-provoking tone. There is a superstition in many congregations (even today) that the children in attendance (or anyone whose parents are still alive) must leave the room and avoid this sacred moment because it might tempt the "evil eye" if someone with two living parents is in the sanctuary remembering and honoring the dead publicly.

However, most rabbis say there is no legal requirement for those whose parents are alive to leave the service. In most 21st century congregations, everyone is invited to be part of this holy moment of honoring those loved ones who have come before us and to offer moral suport to those sitting near you who are releasing on this holiest of days another layer of the sadness, resentment, or ambivalence they feel toward a close family member or friend who died either recently or long ago.

According to most Jewish scholars, the Yizkor memorial service is not about the fear of death, but rather about celebrating life, creating a holy way to honor the memory of those we learned from, and to search for meaning and renewal despite the many losses and mysteries of life.

A MOST UNIQUE AND MOVING YIZKOR SERVICE

As a child at my grandfather's traditional shul in Detroit, I remember the anxious faces, the hushed voices, and the sense of worry that happened each year as the elders sent the children out of the room before the Yizkor service. Later as an adult, I'd often found the Yizkor services at most congregations to be quite tense and stiff, almost as if the congregation was holding its breath because the topic of death was being mentioned.

Then six years ago I attended for the first time the High Holy Days of Ahavat Torah Congregation, which meets each week during the year in Brentwood but also rents a larger synagogue in Santa Monica for its larger Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services.

I'd never before experienced such a moving, creative, and uplifting Yizkor ceremony. To my surprise, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell warmly asked the congregation in a friendly and comfortable tone of voice, "How do you remember the essence of your loved ones who are no longer alive?" She then invited the congregation to meditate for a few minutes and remember the cooking, the smells from the kitchen, the holiday tables, the words of wisdom, the conversations that truly mattered, and the unique qualities of a complicated individual that you struggled with, loved, and learned from recently or many years ago.

Suddenly the room came alive with emotions and memories. Each person in a silent moment of reflection was truly remembering one or more loved ones from recent years or long ago.

Then Rabbi Miriam opened up a fascinating conversation to let 10 or 20 spontaneously selected congregants speak to the entire gathering for one minute each. What a radical idea! To let the congregation (dues-paying members, guests, family members, friends, and many first-time visitors) pour out their memories, their joy, their sadness, their humor, and their vivid recollections about specific loved ones they had come to honor.

After a few minutes of crying, laughing, kvelling, and learning together from the brief one-minute stories about these precious souls (who are no longer physically present but are still alive in our hearts), the sanctuary seemed abundantly filled with so much sense of community and belonging. We were all diverse and unique big-city individuals in the room, yet we had joined together in remembering and honoring many of the fascinating characters that had inspired us and helped us become who we are today. It felt in that moment as though we were all one connected, supportive family (even those who were attending for the very first time).

HOW A NEW IDEA GETS STARTED

I recently asked Rabbi Miriam Hamrell how she got the idea to do something new and inspiring as part of the traditional Yizkor service. She told me, "I didn't plan it. Sometimes when I am completely in the moment with the prayers and focusing on the sincerity of the Ahavat Torah congregants singing so passionately, something just comes through me and I decide to go with it. Many of the most beautiful moments in our congregation seem to happen spontaneously and I had no idea how profound and deep this new ritual would become."

At the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services of Ahavat Torah in September 2010, there will be many traditional moments that are just like every other congregation in the world. Some of the sacred melodies and meditations go back many hundreds of years.

Yet there will also be some spontaneous moments of exploring new interpretations, new wisdom, and new ways of making the holidays come alive. If you or someone you know has ever wanted to find a way to make Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur more meaningful, more life-changing, and more understandable, I hope to see you at the Ahavat Torah gatherings in Santa Monica which are only a few weeks away.

This medium-sized community called Ahavat Torah: One Torah, One People, Many Teachers consists of men and women from diverse backgrounds--Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, Secular, and Unaffiliated. I've found that no one gets judged or told what they must do in this creative and supportive congregation. Instead, each participant in the weekly services and the High Holy Day gatherings tends to have a few things in common--a respect for each individual's different path in life, a warmth for each unique soul in the room, and a strong desire to go deeper into both the traditional and the modern ways of connecting with Jewish wisdom.

One of the reasons why Ahavat Torah, which was founded in 2003, keeps attracting more and more people each year is because their Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services are balanced between what is ancient holiness and what is contemporary holiness. These are holiday services where I can bring along my father-in-law who likes the traditional melodies and prayers, but it's also a service where I can invite family members and friends who are much younger and who enjoy the creative intrepretations and deep discussions that make the holidays far more understandable and meaningful.

THE DETAILS

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are much earlier this year than in most years. Please reserve a spot for yourself and the people you care about in the next few days. The prices of tickets are relatively inexpensive compared to most congregations and they are available right now on http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or by calling 310 362-1111 or in the weekly newsletter. Your ticket request should be sent before September 1st if possible.

The services and special events are:

--Erev Rosh Hashanah Wednesday night Sept. 8th from 7-9 pm at Kehillat Maarav in Santa Monica.

--Rosh Hashanah Day on Thursday Sept. 9th from 10 am - 1 pm at Kehillat Maarav in Santa Monica.

--Erev Yom Kippur and Kol Nidre Service, Friday night Sept. 17th from 7-9:30 pm at Kehillat Maarav in Santa Monica.

--Yom Kippur Day and Yizkor Services, Saturday Sept. 18th from 10 am - 7 pm at Kehillat Maarav in Santa Monica.

Also please watch the congregational newsletter for information about several other special events for going deeper into the inner work of the High Holy Days (if you want to get on the newsletter list please visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or call 310 362-1111). The additional holiday events are:

--Monday morning August 30th, join Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and several from our congregation in the holy experience of the Mikveh (immersion in living waters) at American Jewish University to release and prepare for the High Holy Days. Please contact the Rabbi as soon as possible if you plan to attend.

--Tuesday night, August 31st in the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane in Brentwood, a lively class and discussion led by Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus on "Preparing Your Heart for the High Holidays." Please RSVP to Leslie Tuchman at leslietuchmanmft@aol.com if you might be attending.

--Saturday night, September 4th in the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane is the Selichot (forgiveness) service with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Cantor Gary Levine. It is an inspiring and traditional way to clarify the steps you can take to heal your heart and resolve your unfinished emotional business before the holidays.

--The Tashlich Service at the Ocean just south of Pico (for letting go of resentments and opening up to a healthy new year) will be held along with a friendly luncheon gathering after Rosh Hashanah services at around 2 pm on Thursday September 9th. Please RSVP to Rita Reuben at vivarita18@gmail.com if you might be attending because the Rosenblatts will be preparing a beautiful lunch at their home near the beach and we need to make sure we get you a parking pass.

--The Break-the-Fast Dinner (for anyone who makes a reservation) will be immediately following Yom Kippur services on Saturday night September 18th at around 7 pm at Kehillat Maarav in Santa Monica. Please make sure you note on your ticket forms if you will be there for the break-the-fast dinner.

WHY ARE THE HIGH HOLY DAYS SO EARLY THIS YEAR?

2010-07-27T16:16:00.000-07:00

Gertrude Stein said, "A rose is a rose is a rose." But if you think about it, a calendar is not a calendar is not a calendar. In fact, most Jews living in the United States have at least two different calendars that sometimes are telling us quite different things.

For example, as American Jews living in a mostly-accepting country that is 90% Christian and that has its roots in Rome, we tend to think of a year as something that is organized into 365 days. This solar calendar format was created arbitrarily (first by Julius Caesar in ancient Rome and later revised by Pope Gregory XIII in the 16th century) into 12 months of varying lengths--31 days in some months, 30 in others, 28 in February with an added day every four years. These Roman and Christian leaders issued decrees saying everyone must follow the Julian/Gregorian Calendar which begins each year a few days after Christmas.

So if we want to function well in a business or social world where most cell phones, iPods, Blackberry's, wall calendars, and pocket calendars are organized according to the Julian/Gregorian rules, then we probably need to utilize this Rome-decreed solar format that says confusing things about the Jewish holidays such as, "Rosh Hashanah is in October during some years and in late September in other years, but in a rare few years the Jewish new year is as early as the evening of September 8, 2010 and the day of September 9, 2010." For our kids and grandkids, nieces and nephews, that means this year that the shofar is blowing at the same time they are purchasing new pencils and erasers.

WHAT DETERMINES THE HEBREW CALENDAR?

The reason for this annual disparity between the calendar of the American marketplace and the calendar of the Jewish soul is that in Judaism there is a profound and holy system of counting the days. Unlike the Julian/Gregorian calendar that forces each solar year into 365.25 days with months of varying man-made lengths, the Hebrew calendar connects us with the natural cycles of the moon and the agricultural seasons.

Each month there are a few dark nights when the new moon (and the new Hebrew month) have just begun to reflect the hidden light. Then there are a few weeks of increasing light in the night sky, followed by a full moon that makes the oceans and our pulses vibrate a little stronger than usual, and then a slowly declining amount of brightness at night until another new Hebrew month (and another hard-to-see new moon) occurs.

The Hebrew calendar is based on the Torah teachings of the spiritual, agricultural, and deeply personal cycles of our lives. Every 19 years there are 235 lunar months, with an extra lunar month added every 2 or 3 years. The ancient rabbis created a carefully-calibrated mathematical formula to add these extra lunar months every few years to make sure that natural events (the ripening of crops, the annual harvests, the arrival of the morning dew, the cycles of the rainy months, and the celebrations of the world-wide Jewish community) occur at the same time each year.

A TRICK QUESTION: IS ROSH HASHANAH REALLY EARLY THIS YEAR?

If you stop for a moment and think about the fact that Rosh Hashanah is much earlier in 2010 (showing up on September 8th and 9th according to the Julian/Gregorian calendar), it feels odd from a solar/American viewpoint. But on the Hebrew calendar, the holy day of Rosh Hashanah (the head of the year) shows up exactly where it always has been showing up for thousands of years--right there on the First of the month of Tishrei (a Hebrew word that means 'the beginning') when we step out of commodity time and instead find a holy way to appreciate the awe-inspiring Creative Flow that is continually taking place with every act of kindness, creativity, and renewal that we experience daily.

In ancient times, Rosh Hashanah was always on the First of Tishrei. In Los Angeles in 2010 it will also be on the First of Tishrei of the year 5771. Try telling that to your iPod or your Blackberry way of viewing time, which on some deep level might be freaking out and saying things like, "Wow, it sure seems early this year" or "Where do I get the apps for knowing clearly that a new chapter of my life can begin on the First of Tishrei 5771?"

YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO GET READY

Even though the beautiful melodies, the deeply insightful teachings, and the soul-stirring meditations of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur will show up much sooner than your American mind-set might have been expecting this year, please don't worry. There is still time to get ready for your honest and revealing one-on-One chats with "the still small Voice within" or with "the mysterious Presence that is creating the world constantly and eternally." The Jewish calendar gives us several inspiring ways to start doing the profound inner searching of exactly how we want to repair what's out of synch in our lives so we can enter the new year with more clarity, compassion, and strength.

For example, at Ahavat Torah Congregation on the Westside of Los Angeles, there are going to be several "everyone is welcome" opportunities to go deeper into your own inner life and clarify what will make the new year even more fulfilling and meaningful than the previous year. Led by Rabbi Miriam Hamrell, Cantorial Soloist Gary Levine, Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, and others, the pre-holiday classes and the Days of Awe gatherings are designed to celebrate the precious gift of life, the struggle to deal with our human distractions, and the chance to turn toward an even more connected and positive life during the New Year 5771.

WHAT'S ON YOUR CALENDAR?

Specifically, there are several events that will be extremely inspiring and useful for anyone who has celebrated a traditional Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur before and also for those who are going deeper into Jewish spirituality and personal growth for the first time in your adult life. These gatherings (for members and non-members of this diverse and non-judgmental congregation) are:

(No guilt trips here. You can attend some or all of these upcoming events...)

TWO SPIRITUAL PREPARATION OPPORTUNITIES. On Tuesday night August 17th and Tuesday night August 31st from 7-9 p.m. in the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane in Brentwood. These classes with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus will focus on "Preparing Your Heart for the High Holy Days" and will deal with huge questions such as the background of the High Holy Day prayer, "Who by Fire" which explores the mysteries of what is free will and what is determined. Make sure to check the Ahavat Torah weekly newsletter for details. (If you want to receive this colorful and informative weekly newsletter, please contact Dr. Julie at jgmmd@roadrunner.com)

LETTING GO AND BEING RENEWED IN THE MIKVAH. Rabbi Miriam Hamrell will once again guide a group of members and non-members to experience the holy waters of the Mikvah at American Jewish University (near Mulholland and Sepulveda) during the first week of September. There's nothing quite like immersing yourself in living waters to begin the new year in a profound way (especially if you've never done it before). Watch the weekly newsletter for details and how to sign up for this unique opportunity.

SELICHOT SERVICES. In a beautiful and intimate prayer service and discussion on the Saturday evening (7-9 p.m. on September 4th) the week prior to Rosh Hashanah, we will gather to explore the deeper meanings and sacred melodies of forgiveness and the steps for turning in a more positive direction. All are invited. For details, watch the newsletter.

EREV ROSH HASHANAH and ROSH HASHANAH DAY. Come experience the powerful music, the profound questions, the warmth of the congregation, the sacred prayers and meditations, the respect for diverse viewpoints, and the chance to begin the New Year with forgiveness, healing, and strength. Please plan ahead of time to bring a friend, loved one, or colleague to join our passionate participatory singing and the inspiring, easy-to-follow services held in the beautiful sanctuary of Kehillat Maarav in Santa Monica. Wednesday night, September 8th from 7-9 p.m. and Thursday, September 9th from 10 a.m. - 12:45 p.m. Visit the website at http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or call 310 362-1111 for details and low-cost fees for members and non-members. Please RSVP for yourself and your guests as soon as possible so that the planners of the services will be able to prepare for a sizeable gathering.

TASHLICH AND LUNCH. On the afternoon of Rosh Hashanah, join us for a friendly and enjoyable lunch at the Rosenblatt's home near the beach in Santa Monica followed by a stroll to the ocean where we will make tangible and mindful the specific things we choose to let go of this year and the things we want to renew or strengthen. The lunch is at approximately 2 p.m. and the Tashlich ocean-front service and meditation (while tossing bread crumbs into the waters) will follow the lunch and be over by approximately 4 p.m. Directions and parking permits will be given out at the Rosh Hashanah morning services.

KOL NIDRE on EREV YOM KIPPUR.
YOM KIPPUR DAY and YAHRZEIT MEMORIAL SERVICES.
BREAKING THE FAST after Yom Kippur Services.
Many people have told us that the Ahavat Torah services for Kol Nidre, Yom Kippur, Yahrzeit (Remembrance), and the Break-the-Fast Dinner are the most accessible, welcoming, thoughtful, and uplifting gatherings they've ever experienced for High Holy Days. Everyone is welcome to attend,whether you are a lifelong Jew or someone who has kept your distance from organized religion or someone who has explored several spiritual traditions but there is still something very Jewish about your soul. Please visit the website http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or call 310 362-1111 to get more information and low-cost fees for these awe-inspiring moments held in the sanctuary of Kehillat Maarav in Santa Monica. ALSO, PLEASE SEND IN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE YOUR NAME, YOUR MEMORIAL LIST OF NAMES FOR THE BOOK OF REMEMBRANCE, AND ANY GUESTS WE SHOULD CONTACT SO THAT WE CAN ALL BE AN EQUAL PART OF THIS HOLY AND SACRED GATHERING.

YOUR CALENDAR/YOUR SELF

Whether you tend to live primarily according to the solar calendar or the Hebrew lunar calendar, or both, the Jewish New Year is a time to re-set your internal clock. Do you want another year of feeling rushed and disconnected? Or would you prefer a New Year of deeper meaning, connection, caring, and fulfillment?

In Judaism, the tone for the upcoming year (and how you want your next chapter in the Book of Life to be written) get influenced strongly during the weeks leading up to the sacred Days of Awe and at the holy moments of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Please make sure you clarify what might be out of synch in your life right now, and take steps to establish the tone and the quality of life that you deeply desire. And may you and your loved ones have a wonderful and healthy New Year.

WHAT EXACTLY IS GRASS-ROOTS JUDAISM?

2010-06-17T16:49:00.000-07:00

At the large suburban temple where I grew up in Detroit in the 1960's, they had three paid rabbis, two paid cantors, several full-time administrators, and a congregation that mostly showed up twice a year on High Holidays. Then in the 1970's a new variation arose within Judaism called "the Havurah movement" (where groups of 7-30 people get together weekly or monthly for member-led celebrations, prayer services, and discussions).

Now it's the 21st century and a wonderful hybrid version has blended the best features of a rabbi-led congregation with the best features of a congregant-led Judaism. It could be called "Grass Roots Judaism" or "More Participatory Judaism." Or it could be called "One People, One Torah, Many Teachers," which is the motto of Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood, a growing community that was formed in 2002 with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell not only leading the congregation but also finding ways to encourage and empower each unique individual who wants to bring their gifts forward.

In June 2010 there will be two events where you can witness this new hybrid version of "More Participatory Judaism" with your own eyes and ears. The first event is this Saturday, June 19th at the inspiring Community Meeting after Shabbat services. Co-presidents Jean Katz and Ron Estroff will be describing the huge variety of activities that the congregation has cooked up from its own creativity and passions. Then there will be an election of new board members and a chance to talk about the upcoming year.

The second event is an all-are-invited Celebration on Saturday night June 26th that will have live musical performances, dancing with anyone or everyone (you don't need to be coupled-up to have a great time), a beautiful Havdalah service, and a special honoring of four individuals who have contributed their creativity and caring to Ahavat Torah in many ways: Sasha Borenstein, Russ Hannan, Arlene Rosenblatt, and Sid Rosenblatt. There are details in the weekly newsletter. To RSVP and attend, call Rena Jaffe at 310 450-5225.

WHAT GRASS ROOTS JUDAISM LOOKS LIKE

At both the Community Meeting on Saturday afternoon June 19th and the Dinner Dance on Saturday night June 26th, you will notice that participatory/grass-roots Judaism is quite diverse and multi-faceted. For example, at Ahavat Torah Congregation the creativity and caring includes:

--Some members who have a strong sense of art, food, aesthetics and how to encourage each member to participate in creating a beautiful buffet lunch. At Ahavat Torah Congregation for many years, Beth Devermont has brought her interior design background and her organizing skills to the congregation as she took charge of making sure there was an abundant lunch buffet after services each week (and now her role is being given to volunteer coordinators Leslie Tuchman and Nadine Colla). For a not-so-large congregation, there is consistently and dependably each Shabbat a quite-large buffet of lox, bagels, dairy lunches, vegetarian delights, and salads brought by members. Plus on many weeks there is a nutritious and delicious soup cooked and contributed by Rabbi Miriam. Where else in the Jewish world do you get inspiring Torah teachings and exquisite vegetarian soups from the same rabbi, along with an abundant free buffet from all sorts of health-conscious friends?

--Some members who like to sing and who bring their music to Ahavat Torah events. Joel Warren sets up the sound system each week and accompanies the congregation on piano. On some weeks there is Kabbalistic drumming from Eli Lester and lots of shaking of davvening-enhancing instruments from Pattye Asarch, Marion Klein, Sherry Modell, and others. Plus the passionate participatory singing led by Gary Levine and Kimberly Haynes. Plus the Torah tropes by long-time members like Rena Jaffe, Sasha Borenstein, Jonathan Troper, and others, along with Torah tropes by new members like Janice Batzdorff. In addition, Vivian Gold and Phil Danufsky have started an occasional Saturday night kumsitz/sing-a-long/hootenanny that welcomes members, non-members, friends and family to join in lots of inspiring songs from musicals, beloved performers, and protest marches from the past several decades (Watch the newsletter for the next sing-a-long).

--Some members who like a great discussion group. At Ahavat Torah, Gloria Orenstein started a Salon that has speakers, artists, and discussions every few months. Jean Katz has put together some great discussions of various Jewish poets. Ellen Dubois has brought the congregation some fascinating speakers and discussions. Debra Estroff has organized a book group where all are invited. Aharon Nachshon has organized a movie-going group where all are invited. Please keep your eyes on the newsletter each week to see when the next chance to connect will arrive.

--Some members who like to repair the world. The social action committee currently led by Estelle Fisher and Sherry Modell has been coming up with a variety of ways to make a difference, and have helped many members of the congregation to overcome feelings of powerlessness when you see something that truly needs changing. In addition, our congregation has been helping the Sova food pantries for distressed families for many years and now more than ever they need our financial help and our weekly bottles of cooking oil, which are now transported each week by congregant Fred Summers.

--Some members who see a need and just get it done. Arlene Rosenblatt saw that at High Holiday services many people needed a transliteration of the prayers, so she sat down at her computer and created one. Sid Rosenblatt saw that we needed a website and so he helped to design one. Russ Hannan saw that the congregation needed a proper place to put the Torah so that it could be read easily each Saturday morning without making people strain their backs bending over. Then he applied his woodworking and boat-building skills to create the slightly-tilted, perfect-height Torah table that we use each Shabbat.

--Some members who keep their hearts open and love to reach out to others in the community. At Ahavat Torah there is a Bikkur Cholim committee and phone tree by which Blanche Moss and Rabbi Miriam make sure that those who are ill or in need of support get a boost of strength and assistance from a sizable number of members without having to beg for it. Shoshi Wilchfort and Estelle Markowitz make sure that each month on the second Shabbat there is a Simcha Shabbat celebration (with cake, flowers, and special blessings) for anyone who is celebrating a birthday, an anniversary, or some other big event. Numerous congregation members take turns volunteering to be the greeters at Shabbat services and to make new visitors and guests feel welcomed and included.

(I apologize for not listing more examples of how congregants come forward with their creative gifts. As Billy Crystal used to say, "Don't get me started...")

COMING FORWARD WITHOUT ARM-TWISTING

What has been truly remarkable about the first 8 years of Ahavat Torah is that Rabbi Miriam's role modeling has created an atmosphere in which lots of people tend to come forward with good ideas and creative additions without there being a lot of noodging and arm-twisting. Maybe it's because the rabbi is so generous and compassionate. Maybe it's because the congregation is filled with individuals who don't want to sit back and be "entertained" or "lectured at" in a large, impersonal synagogue. Maybe it's because one act of grass-roots creativity by one person tends to lead to another act of grass-roots creativity by another person.

Whatever is causing this continual flourishing of participation and mutual helpfulness, the Community Meeting on June 19th and the Celebration Dinner Dance on June 26th are intended to keep the flow going strong for years to come. So please make sure you will be at both of these inspiring events where you will experience "Grass Roots Judaism" directly and where you might get some ideas on how you want to offer your own gifts and wisdom to this growing community.

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The Community Meeting will be held in the Social Hall after Shabbat services on Saturday, June 19th at around 1:30.

The Celebration Dinner Dance will be held at the Marina City Club in Marina Del Rey on Saturday night, June 26th. Please check the recent newsletters for details and how to RSVP.

For more information about the various programs and activities of Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood, log onto www.ahavattorahcongregation.org or www.creatingsacredcommunity.blogspot.com.

IS LIFE RANDOM OR CONNECTED?

2010-05-26T17:05:00.000-07:00

Here's a mystery for you to ponder:

On May 22nd at Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood/Westwood, there was an extremely full sanctuary because three fascinating women were having an Adult Bat Mitzvah. All of these three diverse women were extremely articulate and inspiring about their complicated and non-linear spiritual path in life that resulted in their mature decision to explore their Jewishness more deeply.

One of the women, Laurel Gord, said something which has spun my brain around and caused me to wonder what is random and what is connected in the way things happen in this world. Here's what she explained:

Like many modern Jews, Laurel was raised in a household where her one Jewish parent emphasized the importance of repairing the world but this parent was very skeptical about religion or belief. So Laurel became a helping professional and volunteer working for many years on numerous heartfelt social issues, but she stayed away from temples or synagogues for the most part.

Then a few years ago when Laurel had just begun to start learning more about Judaism, she was talking with a Sufi Muslim friend named Noor-Malika Chishti at an Interfaith event. When Noor-Malika heard that Laurel hadn't yet found a congregation or a rabbi that felt comfortable to her, she decided to tell Laurel about the "wonderful and welcoming Jewish congregation that shares the same building on Saturdays with a church group that worships on Sundays and with a Sufi Muslim Masalah that meets there weekly on a different day as well."

That one informal conversation between a compassionate Sufi Muslim woman and a compassionate secular Jewish-by-birth woman resulted in Laurel showing up a while later for the 9 am Saturday Mussar (ethics) class at Ahavat Torah. Then Laurel found that she enjoyed the singing and the warmth at the weekly Shabbat services. Eventually she became interested in studying with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and the congregation's in-house Bat Mitzvah tutor Rena Jaffe to prepare for an extremely empowering and life-affirming Adult Bat Mitzvah.

As they say in Yiddish, "Go figure." If you connect the dots, you will find that Noor-Malika has been in a "Cousins Club" dialogue of Jewish women and Muslim women for the past 8 years with a number of remarkable women who belong to Ahavat Torah, including Jean Katz, Vivian Gold, Linda Schorin, Rinat Amir, Shayna Lester, and Rabbi Miriam Hamrell. The women in the "Cousins Club" mostly thought they were building bridges for peace and mutual understanding. Probably no one imagined that the Jewish-Muslim Women's Dialogue would result in a referral for a wonderful new member for the congregation.

Laurel's spiritual journey to reclaim her Jewishness and the unexpected match-making by Noor-Malika got me thinking and wondering--what key events in our lives are random coincidence and what key events are a holy moment of beshert ("meant to be") that mysteriously connects us to some awesome higher energies? What is "accidental" and what is part of a bigger picture that we humans can't fully fathom?

AN ENTHUSIASTIC CONVERSATION

Laurel's story of how she found her way to a congregation and a rabbi that she grew to love, caused me to remember the moment when I first heard about Ahavat Torah. In the summer of 2004, I was giving a workshop to a group of Jewish adults about my recent book "When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People." Two of the people attending the workshop told me enthusiastically during the snacks portion of the event, "Hey, there's this relatively new congregation called Ahavat Torah that has an extremely warm and approachable Rabbi, terrific music, some great classes and celebrations, along with a very warm, creative membership and not a lot of egos."

A few weeks later my wife Linda and I decided to sample one of the congregation's events that was being held at the Rabbi's home. We were amazed at how participatory, unpretentious, welcoming, and deep in wisdom the event was. A few weeks later we began attending High Holyday services and Shabbat services with this new congregation and eventually we became members.

I sometimes stop and wonder, "What if those two people hadn't told me their enthusiasm for Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and the 'One Torah, One People, Many Teachers' approach at Ahavat Torah? Linguistic scholars say that the word "theos" or "God" is contained in the word "enthusiasm." But can we know for certain if those two enthusiastic people were doing God's work, or was it just a random event completely devoid of any meaning or beshert-ness?

What do you think? Do you believe that you are sometimes a vessel or a conduit for specific awesome energies that are bigger than we'll ever know? Do you ever wonder if our heartfelt conversations (or our I-Thou moments as described by Martin Buber) contain sparks of the Divine Presence? Do you ever feel as if you are part of a holy chain of events when you tell someone about a beautiful work of art, an exquisite piece of music, a wonderful Rabbi or congregation, or a possible soul mate that he or she should meet? Or is it just random luck and trivial small-talk, but nothing more?

OPEN OUR LIPS THAT OUR MOUTHS MAY DECLARE

Whether or not you believe you are an instrument that is breathed into each day by an Infinite Breath is up to you. I can't prove it to you one way or the other. In fact, in Judaism there is a lot of room for varying beliefs. Some Jews believe it is all orchestrated. Other Jews believe there is a Presence which gives us clues, but that we are quite free to miss or rebel against the clues. Other Jews believe we are guided by the teachings of a Great Teacher who usually does not intervene in daily life. Other Jews believe there is a Shefa or flow from a compassionate Source, but that it is up to us to align ourselves with that flow.

The one thing that nearly all Jews agree upon is that we human beings don't yet know the whole picture. In the Kaddish prayer and in many other places, it says that the Eternal One is "beyond any words or concepts that we humans can describe." It's quite humbling to be a human being.

So when you tell someone about a beautiful work of art, an exquisite piece of music, a wonderful Rabbi or congregation, or a possible soul mate that he or she should meet, there probably needs to be both enthusiasm and humility. Enthusiasm means being open to the possibility that a spark of the Infinite Creative Source is contained in your conversation. Humility means you don't know for sure and you therefore have the gracefulness to not twist someone's arm mercilessly because of your enthusiasm.

But it still seems like one of the great mysteries of life how we find a mate, a creative path, a spiritual home, or a wonderful series of friends because of one humble and enthusiastic comment from another human being at an unexpected moment.

If you think about Laurel Gord's story or your own unique story, does it make you wonder how each of us finds a place that eventually becomes an inspiring spiritual home? Over the past few months I've asked many members of Ahavat Torah, "How did you first hear about the congregation?" Depending on your belief system, the answers can sound extremely random or extremely beshert and mystical.

One congregant told me she heard about this lively place to sing, learn, and connect from a doctor who liked to converse while she was in stirrups.

Another congregant told me she happened to spontaneously ask her neighbor to suggest where might be an inspiring place to reconnect with High Holyday services after many years away.

Yet another congregant told me she was dating a divorced man who told her about his wonderful rabbi and an extremely friendly and unpretentious congregation. This woman eventually got free of the guy but became very involved with the congregation.

Another congregant told me he was at a social activism event and he was curious about why such a small and new congregation had such a sizable presence at this important event.

Finally, another active member of Ahavat Torah told me she was congregation-less for many years (and happily so, she said) until she happened to come to an Adult Bat Mitzvah several years ago where she was inspired by the honesty, the depth, and the caring she saw in the congregation. She said, "I don't usually join groups," but this time she made an exception.

SUMMERTIME CURIOSITY

In the next three months, lots of women and men in Los Angeles will begin trying to figure out where they could feel most comfortable and most inspired for the High Holydays this September (especially since Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur arrive quite early on the calendar this year). Some of these individuals are our family members, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Others are complete strangers with whom we might be sharing a meaningful conversation at the most unexpected moments.

If you happen to be talking to any of these individuals and you want to share your enthusiasm about the pleasures you have found at an inspiring congregation where there is abundant singing, learning, celebrating, and a healthy sense of community, please be humble and graceful in your enthusiasm.

And if it is meant to be, we can all look forward to meeting these individuals at the Mussar class, or at Shabbat services, or at other upcoming events, or at High Holydays services.

Maybe even in a few years you will be sitting in a packed sanctuary at an Adult Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration and hearing this individual tell the story of a surprising moment when someone talked about a growing congregation and a light flipped on for this person. Will it seem random to you or will it seem blessed by a Source that is beyond words?

For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation, please visit www.ahavattorahcongregation.org or request a free weekly newsletter of events by contacting jgmmd@roadrunner.com.

Or if you are interested in learning the steps toward an inspiring Adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah, please speak with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell or Rena Jaffe.

Or if you want to sample the weekly Mussar/ethics class (9-10am each Saturday) or the lively Shabbat services (10am-12:30pm each Saturday followed by a free pot-luck dairy lunch), please visit the congregation at 343 Church Lane (near Montana Avenue and the 405). During the Sunset Boulevard construction, it's best to go north from Wilshire along Sepulveda until you reach Montana. Turn left on Montana and go under the 405 Freeway. Then turn right on Church Lane and look for parking.

CAN ONE PERSON ENJOY TWO CONGREGATIONS?

2010-04-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

A few months ago a friend told me, "I feel guilty sometimes. I belonged to one well-known congregation for many years and recently I've been attending events and getting to know people at a different congregation that is much more warm and welcoming. Am I the Jewish equivalent of a Carolina politician (maybe John Edwards or Mark Sanford)? Or is it o.k. to enjoy two different communities?"

My initial reaction was to admit to my friend that I've been in the same situation several times myself. Even though I've been monogamous with my beloved wife Linda for over 30 years, I've enjoyed learning from several different congregations and teachers (sometimes as a full member and sometimes as a visitor paying a la carte). In addition, there were many years when my wife and I joined one congregation for our adult spiritual needs while belonging (at a reduced rate) to a second congregation for our son's educational needs.

What about you?

In the bountiful spiritual buffet of greater Los Angeles, should it be considered an act of disloyalty or an act of spiritual integrity to enjoy the diverse offerings of more than one congregation during the same time period?

To explore this question, I interviewed several women and men from the relatively new congregation, Ahavat Torah in Brentwood/Westwood, where I've been a member since 2004. I wanted to ask specific individuals (who sometimes say in more than one venue, "Mah tovu, how good are your dwelling places") to let them clarify why they do what they do. Their names and identifying details have been kept confidential. But you might find their insights and experiences helpful as we each explore our own journey for finding wholeness, wisdom, community, warmth, support, and Jewish aliveness in this diverse City of Angels.

Here is what I discovered from these interviews:

A FEELING OF 'HOME' AWAY FROM HOME

Several people told me they consider Ahavat Torah to be their "home congregation" while another community feels like "the congregation where I have a historical connection, but it doesn't feel as warm and welcoming now."

For instance, one woman admitted, "I was active at a particular congregation for many years and even got involved in the Sisterhood and other committees. Yet it didn't satisfy my developing needs of more intimate settings for study, prayer, and social action. So I began to consider Ahavat Torah my home because I have felt far more warmth there for my particular experiences, ideas, and personal needs. I can express my more spiritual and creative sides at Ahavat Torah and there's freedom to think 'outside the box' in this open-minded community, much more than at my other congregation."

Another woman suggested, "I had always felt like an outsider in a few particular large temples where there was so much pressure to look fancy and compete for status. But then a few years ago I found out it's possible to build a new kind of community that is more about honoring each person's unique soul and creative gifts. I finally feel like I've found a place that is 'home' now whenever I show up and join in with the passionate singing and the genuine conversations with people who truly care."

JUGGLING MORE THAN ONE FEE

Another man told me, "I grew up at a very prominent congregation where for many years I didn't enjoy much of what was going on, but it was my familiar and slightly-dysfunctional community nonetheless. I still have a bit of an allegiance to that congregation and so I pay an associate member fee to them. Then I began to connect with the way Gary Levine leads the services at Ahavat Torah with so much enthusiasm and joy. And I love the fact that Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and each of the other teachers are so inclusive and open in making the Torah portions extremely relevant and interesting. I decided to join their smaller congregation as a full member because Ahavat Torah dues are relatively inexpensive and my involvement with them consistently helps me to connect with Jewish insights and celebrations in a much more heartful way than I've ever done before."

Another woman explained, "I still meet with a monthly study group from another community and I pay an associate membership fee to that synagogue as a way to support the rabbi and her work. But Ahavat Torah is my home synagogue because of Gary's music and Rabbi Miriam being such a model of compassion, kindness and support to so many members. Plus I love the Social Action projects we do at Ahavat Torah and how the salons and classes and cultural events enrich my life."

IT'S ABOUT WARMTH AND BEING APPRECIATED FOR WHO YOU ARE

One woman who has sampled several local congregations commented, "The love, support, friendships, and creativity of the people I meet at Ahavat Torah have made me far more involved here than at the other places where I sometimes go for a specific event or lecture. Plus the fact that we as a congregation have designed our own easy-to-follow prayer book that makes it a lot more enjoyable to participate in Saturday morning services. More than anything, I feel a sense of family here."

I also interviewed a married couple at Ahavat Torah who attend lectures, music and cultural events at various temples throughout Los Angeles County. Yet they pay dues just at one congregation, Ahavat Torah, as they explained, "We love being part of a diverse and interesting Jewish community in Los Angeles, but we feel there's only one place where the warmth and genuine friendships occurred most easily. It's about much more than stimulation for the mind; it's about finding a group of people who respect the diversity of each individual soul."

One other woman admitted, "My parents were anti-religious so I didn't grow up attending Jewish services. Much of my adult life was involved in interfaith groups. But at Ahavat Torah I felt welcomed and included from the start, probably because it is such a grounded, functional, caring community. I very quickly started to feel a sense of being seen and appreciated for the unique person that I am. So I began to focus on doing more at Ahavat Torah and cutting back somewhat on my other spiritual involvements. Yet I have never felt judged or pressured at Ahavat Torah while I gradually decided to become a full member."

IS IT GEOGRAPHIC OR SOMETHING MORE PERSONAL?

I only found one man who had felt judged or criticized for participating in two different congregations. He told me, "I used to attend services sometimes at a place that was very near to where I live. But I rarely felt a personal connection to the Rabbi or the big machers who were always telling people what to do. So then I began to look at other congregations and when I returned one week to my neighborhood synagogue there were a few people who treated me like I'd done something disloyal or immoral. That was the week I decided to keep going the extra miles and become more involved with Ahavat Torah. The Rabbi, the Cantor, the board members, and the many volunteers each have a strong sense of openness and warmth that make it meaningful and enriching each time I come to an event. What a relief to find a congregation that is supportive and inclusive for every type of individual, whether you have money or not, whether you have a lot of Jewish experience or not, and whether you are a big macher or a humble and gentle soul."

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For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation: One Torah, One People, Many Teachers, you can visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or read the personal weblog articles at http://www.creatingsacredcommunity.blogspot.com/.

Lively, inspiring, and interactive Shabbat services are held each Saturday morning at 10 am at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood, 2 blocks west of Sepulveda, 1 block west of the 405 Freeway, between Sunset Blvd and Montana Avenue.

Prior to the Shabbat services, everyone is welcome at a Mussar ethics class that meets from 9-10am in the Fireside Room adjacent to the Sanctuary.

After services, there is a dairy pot-luck lunch buffet that is free and welcome to all.

To get on the email list to receive weekly announcements of classes, events, holiday celebrations, salon discussion groups, music events, book groups, social action projects, and other ways of connecting, please send your address to Dr. Julie at jgmmd@roadrunner.com.

NOT YOUR ZAYDE'S SEDER

2010-03-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

(Translation note: A "Zayde" is a grandpa)

Every Spring for several thousand years an event takes place in small intimate groups around the world that stirs up trouble for the status quo and awakens the rebelliousness and compassion of many good people. It's called a Passover Seder and numerous social scientists consider it the most effective and enduring grass roots organizing event in human history. (Primarily because each year millions of small clusters of women and men gather to talk about what it means to be oppressed, what it takes to be free, and how to bring more empathy and courage into the world. In fact, many social change activists--both Jewish and non-Jewish--admit they got a crucial dose of their inspiration at Passover Seders).

Unfortunately, some people have never been to an inspiring Seder. They've only been to the boring kind where an inflexible patriarch goes on for 4 or 5 hours with little or no participation. Ironically, the essence of the Seder is to let each person (believer, skeptic, religious, or non-religious) ask questions and wrestle with the profound ideas for how to break out of our human mitzrayim (a Hebrew word that means not only Egypt but also can mean narrowness, constriction, enslavements, addictions, aggravations, confinements). Yet many Seders around the world have nice silverware and china, but are closer in leadership style to Pharaoh's hard-heartedness rather than the rebellious and compassionate style of Moses, Aaron, or Miriam, and the midwives who risked their own freedom by breaking the law and saving the condemned babies.

ASSESSING YOUR OWN SEDER HISTORY

In your own life thus far, have you ever been to a Passover Seder that truly inspired you and opened up your heart for doing good in the world? Have you ever heard the ancient story of personal and group liberation told in a way that empowered you to break out of some old ruts?

I remember as a child enjoying the foods at my beloved grandpa's Seder each year. It was wonderful to see how passionately he conducted the Seder and I especially loved the Hillel sandwich that combines matzoh, horseradish, chopped walnuts, apples and wine to remind us of the bitterness of slavery and the sweetness of freedom. Plus the half moon shaped jelly desserts in bright colors from Manischewitz that my sister and I split equally--she liked the yellow and green ones, I liked the orange and red ones.

I didn't fully realize, though, until age 16 that my beloved Zayde's Seder, conducted entirely by my very traditional grandpa from the old country for almost 5 hours with no questions allowed, was missing something. Only at age 16 did I find out from a close friend that the Seder was not intended to be a passive experience of listening to one's grandpa explain everything in a language no one at the table could understand. Rather, it's about asking questions, discussing various viewpoints, and honoring that each person has a unique and different way of understanding the struggle for freedom and integrity.

Ever since age 16, I've made sure each year to attend at least one creative Seder during the week of Passover meals to explore different ways of understanding God's assistance and the human search for the courage to break out of our enslavements. Some of these creative Seders were focused on rethinking gender roles and equal rights for women. Other Seders were focused on liberation and equal rights for African-Americans. One year I attended a Seder where there were Israelis, Palestinians, hawks, and doves praying together for peace and mutual respect. Another Seder was about the enslavements of our addictions and self-damaging habits with discussions of the crucial steps toward genuine freedom.

A UNIQUE GATHERING ON APRIL 3RD

This year there will be an original, creative and inspiring Seder at Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood. The ancient story of moving out of narrowness and enslavements will be told with modern applications to our personal lives and our world today. There will be participation from each person in the room as well as Rabbi Miriam Hamrell of Ahavat Torah Congregation, Reverend Doctor Janet Bregar of Village Lutheran Church, and Karima Kylberg of Mussallah Tauhid.

The 2010 Ahavat Torah Seder is entitled "Three Communities Celebrate Their Common Roots with a Community Passover Seder" and all are welcome to attend even if this is your very first Seder, or even if you are a veteran at eating more matzah and haroseth during Passover than your gastro-enterologist thinks you should.

The festive meal and inspiring discussion will take place immediately after Shabbat/Sabbath services on Saturday, April 3rd in the social hall at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood (1 block west of the 405 Freeway, 2 blocks west of Sepulveda, between Sunset and Montana) starting at around 12:15 p.m. (You are also invited to be part of the passionate singing, meditations, and Torah reading at the Shabbat services which begin at 10 a.m. in the sanctuary) .

A CUSTOM-MADE HAGGADAH

Many years ago when Arlene and Sid Rosenblatt were members of Temple Beth Hillel in North Hollywood, they enjoyed the shortened and easy-to-understand Haggadah (mostly in English) put together by Rabbi James Kaufman. Then for several years, Arlene and her daughter Julie did what many modern Jews do--they cut, pasted, and photocopied some additional spiritual teachings, diverse interpretations, and inspiring questions for experiencing the Seder on deeper levels each year with their family and friends.

Now in 2010, Arlene and Sid have made copies of these accessible customized Haggadot so that each participant on April 3rd can have a meaningful connection to the ancient story and its current applications in our own lives and communities. You will discover not only the traditional order of the Seder but also some heart-opening and thought-provoking modern interpretations that will make the holiday come alive for you and your loved ones.

No one knows exactly what will happen at this year's Seder because it all depends on each one of us showing up with our questions, our concerns, and our individual holy struggles on how to find positive ways to break out of enslavements and move successfully toward genuine freedom and integrity. Quite possibly something you say to the entire group or just to one person with whom you will be "breaking matzah" will create ripples of awareness and understanding that might last for a lifetime. Please know that this is a gathering where all points of view are treated with respect and that your own particular journey is welcome and honored at this unique gathering. We hope that this Passover will be a joyous time for meeting one another in a common search for personal growth and peace among all peoples.

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For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation, please visit the website at http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/.

Because of the dietary restrictions associated with Passover, you are requested to sign-up ahead of time if you are interested in bringing one of the potluck dishes. For a list of foods that will be part of the festive meal, please see the Ahavat Torah weekly newsletter. To sign-up for bringing a specific food item, or to simply RSVP that you will be a part of the celebration of Passover, contact Pattye by March 30th at 310 391-4301 or at pattyekitty@verizon.com.

WHAT IF WE COULD PREVENT DOZENS OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND HURT FEELINGS?

2010-02-14T13:43:00.000-08:00

Every day in families, friendships, workplaces, and congregations there are words spoken which unintentionally cause pain, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings.

For example, maybe you've been on the receiving end of someone's snarkiness or their storytelling about your private life. Or maybe you've had your own moments of talking about someone behind their back. Or maybe you didn't mean any harm, but it felt kinda right to dish a little about someone who wasn't there to clarify the details.

Some might say, "Hey, it's inevitable" or "Suck it up, life is a contact sport."

But in Judaism there are some fascinating teachings and guidelines on how to prevent unintentional pain to strangers, colleagues, and loved ones as a result of our choice of words.

IS IT CENSORSHIP OR IS IT MINDFULNESS?

In the 1870's in Radin, Russia there was a passionate rabbi named Yisrael Meir Kagan who was so focused on preventing pain from misspoken words and loose lips that he wrote an anonymous book called "Chofetz Chaim" (a Hebrew phrase which means the one who desires life and this phrase comes from Psalm 34):
"Who is the one who desires life (haChofetz Chaim)
who loves each day to see the good?
Guard your tongue from evil
and your lips from deceipt."

Within a few years, 4,000 copies of this book had been distributed to various traditional communities and people began calling Rabbi Kagan "The Chofetz Chaim." He had sparked something lasting and profound with his book, which essentially consists of a long list of guidelines from the written Torah and the oral Torah about how to see the good in life and how to prevent harm from the words you choose. This list of guidelines has been used ever since, mostly by observant Jews, for three purposes:
--to prevent gossip and character insinuations that can tear apart families, friendships, workplaces, and congregations.
--to help raise the level of conversation from pettiness to compassionate mindfulness.
--to help each of us not to get swayed or shmootzed by overhearing something that might be true or untrue about someone, but that leaves out important information or conveys a false impression.

In the large congregation where I grew up in Detroit, we didn't talk very much about Chofetz Chaim or the rules of compassionate speech. Like many modern congregations, we thought we could get along just fine without any firm guidelines. But in fact there were huge tensions and painful misunderstandings which arose from gossip, loose lips, and unintentionally insinuating statements about various leaders and members of the congregation.

Fifteen years ago I was doing some research and one-on-one interviews in Los Angeles to learn more about how Jews today practice or don't practice the traditional guidelines about compassionate speech. I found that for a small percentage of Jews today, the guidelines from Chofetz Chaim are considered to be "holy rules we ought to follow." For a much larger percentage of Jews today, these guidelines are considered to be "reasonable rules we ought to follow but we rarely do." Still other Jews consider the Chofetz Chaim's guidelines to be "censorship or rigidness that often get enforced with too much of a judgmental or shame-inducing tone of voice."

The most surprising thing I found out was how much a large number of people were uncomfortable when they were criticized for saying something that someone else considered "leshon hara (hurtful speech)." Since the vast majority of American Jews today have been raised in a society where people tend to bond by sharing intimate information about themselves and others (and since most Jews alive today have never been taught exactly what the guidelines for compassionate speech are in specific situations), many decent and good people told me that they "feel blind-sided when someone says, 'Oh, you shouldn't say that' or 'Watch out, that's leshon hara (hurtful speech).'" In most American Jewish families, communities and congregations today there seems to be no clear consensus or agreement on when to share information about someone else and when to keep silent.

Or as Yul Brynner used to say in The King and I, "It's a puzzlement."

DEVELOPING SOMETHING CREATIVE AND NEW

If you stop for a moment and ask yourself, "What do I want to practice in my own friendships and daily conversations about when to share personal information about someone else and when to respect confidentiality," what comes to mind as the guidelines you would like to follow? What are the questions and concerns you tend to have in your heart about finding the healthy balance between the freedom to speak honestly and the freedom to abstain from gossip or possibly off-putting statements about someone's positive or negative traits? What are the moments when you think to yourself, "Should I say something or should I be careful not to say too much because it might turn into something else--what is the right thing to do in this particular situation?"

To address this intriguing "puzzlement" of daily living, Ahavat Torah Congregation is going to attempt something new and somewhat unusual. Rather than being vague or unclear about what is compassionate speech and what might be hurtful speech, several members of the congregation and Rabbi Miriam Hamrell have suggested that this might be an excellent time to explore and discuss these important questions. What do each of us believe is the best way to prevent hurt feelings and misunderstandings? What would each of us prefer to have as guidelines for the future?

You are invited to participate in a unique creative, interactive process which will start in early March. You don't have to be a scholarly Jew and it doesn't matter if you've never before heard the name Chofetz Chaim or the words "leshon hara (hurtful speech)". What matters is that you bring your own insights, experiences, and sensibilities to this creative exploration.

THE DETAILS

On Tuesday night March 2nd at 7:30 pm and Tuesday night March 9th at 7:30 pm our congregation will have a two-part study session and discussion at the home of Jean Katz, 10383 Rochester Avenue in Westwood (between Wilshire and Ohio, just east of Beverly Glen) entitled: THE INTRICACIES OF DECIDING WHAT TO SAY AND WHAT NOT TO SAY: A Lively Discussion of Jewish Teachings on What Is or Is Not Leshon Hara, Plus How to Give Compassionate Feedback and How to Prevent Painful Misunderstandings (in Friendships, in Families, in Public, and in Private)

Of course you have a busy schedule and it's often overpacked. Or you might prefer to relax and watch your favorite television show that evening. But what if the conversation about compassionate speech truly needs your particular point of view and your unique insights? What if your own friendships and our congregation could be enhanced by the ideas and experiences you bring to this important issue? What if something you discover on one or both of those evenings could prevent you from losing a friend or hurting someone unintentionally?

PART ONE: THE ALL-ARE-INVITED STUDY SESSIONS

What you might find surprising and useful on Tuesday night March 2nd and Tuesday night March 9th is that there are some wonderful Jewish writings and ideas that can help us, our children, our grandchildren, our friends, and our colleagues to walk more gracefully through the mine-fields of human conversation. Both of these early March study and discussion sessions will combine traditional teachings, modern interpretations, and openness to the ideas of the people in the room.

With humor and helpful examples on both evenings, you will have a chance to go deeper into:

--How to understand the breakthrough insights and the practical advice of the Chofetz Chaim on how to prevent hurtful misunderstandings.
--How the Mussar (character refinement) movement in Judaism has helped clarify a gentler and less shaming way of giving feedback to someone who is saying things that make you uncomfortable.
--How a woman rabbi in the 21st century (Rabbi Margaret Moers Wenig, the Instructor of Liturgy and Homiletics at Hebrew Union College) has designed a more modern, less-shaming, and somewhat gentler way of applying the Chofetz Chaim's teachings to 21st century Jews who live in diverse American cities.
--How do each of us want to design our own version of these Jewish teachings on mindful speech and choosing our words more compassionately.

I will be facilitating the two study and discussion sessions with the intention of making sure that all diverse points of view are heard and respected. Please feel free to bring your questions, your concerns, your ideas for how you prefer these issues to be handled, and your willingness to learn how we can each be a blessing in all our interactions.

EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT QUITE SURE OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LESHON HARA AND A LUCSHEN KUGEL, YOUR INSIGHTS, QUESTIONS, AND SUGGESTIONS REGARDING HOW TO HAVE HARM-FREE CONVERSATIONS ARE NEEDED AND WELCOMED. Please mark in your calendar to be at Jean Katz's house on Tuesday March 2nd and Tuesday March 9th at 7:30 pm both evenings.

PART TWO: THE FOLLOW-UP STEPS

After these two March 2010 study and discussion sessions, we will hopefully take this creative conversation about compassionate speech to a second level of insight and brainstorming. There will be an email sent out in April 2010 to ask every member of Ahavat Torah Congregation to offer their ideas, favorite quotes, and preferred suggestions on how to have mindful and harm-preventing conversations (with family members, friends, colleagues, and congregants).

Then in June 2010 we will compile these ideas, suggestions, warnings, concerns, and quotes into a booklet that will be more like the Talmud (with opposing and diverse views presented together on the same page creating much food-for-thought) rather than a one-size-fits-all rule book.

This booklet of 20-60 pages will be the first grass-roots, congregation-generated, "bipartisan" guidebook on compassionate speech. Each person who participates by emailing or calling in a comment can either put their own name next to their suggestions and ideas, or they can have anonymity.

Our hope is to raise our own level of understanding and discussion of these delicate issues and at the same time to create an easy-to-read booklet that might be useful for our children, grandchildren, friends, colleagues and other Jewish communities and congregations.

Please make sure you are there on March 2nd and March 9th so that this creative process will from the start have your good ideas and your specific inputs.

IN ORDER TO KNOW THE NUMBER OF CHAIRS AND REFRESHMENTS TO HAVE READY, PLEASE R.S.V.P. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO 310 815-1611 or lcfelder@yahoo.com.

Thank you ahead of time for bringing your wisdom and your insights to this important project. May it be a good thing for our congregation and for each of us in our daily lives.

DISCOVERING WHAT PEACEFULNESS FEELS LIKE

2010-01-28T15:37:00.000-08:00

Have you heard the joke about the holy meditation teacher who is visiting midtown Manhattan for the first time and gets asked abruptly by an impatient street vendor selling roasted chestnuts, hot dogs, soft pretzels, and other quick foods.

The vendor slices open an empty bun and calls out, "Hey, you! Next! Hurry up. What d'ya want?"

The experienced meditation teacher breathes in and out calmly and says mindfully, "What do I want? Make me one with everything."

Is that something you have ever experienced: to be one with everything? Have you ever found a way to go beyond the anxious mind and become connected to the infinite or the unity of all that exists?

THE VARIETIES OF JEWISH MEDITATION

Most people don't know that Judaism has a long tradition of meditation and various methods for transcending the noise and stress of daily life. Even in the Torah, there are descriptions of moments of "Hitbodedut" (which has been translated by various writers as "oneness with HaShem," "isolating oneself," "aloneness with the Divine Presence," or "sitting with God.")

In the Hasidic tradition, Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav (the great grandson of the Baal Shem Tov who founded the Hasidic movement) and many others have described the health and wellness aspects of moments of quiet meditation. Reb Nachman described it as "the centerpiece of the way to God" and "the way to reach your highest level."

During the past 30 years, Jewish meditation has begun to grow and flourish as a daily practice in many parts of the Jewish community. Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, an acclaimed physicist, rabbi and meditation teacher, wrote his classic book JEWISH MEDITATION in 1982. In the 1990's, Rabbi Nan Fink Geffen of Berkeley, California wrote her guidebook DISCOVERING JEWISH MEDITATION. In 2009, Rabbi Jeff Roth of the Elat Chayyim retreat center on the east coast, wrote another useful guide entitled JEWISH MEDITATION PRACTICES FOR EVERYDAY LIFE.

A GROWING INTEREST LOCALLY

At Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood (near the 405 Freeway between Sunset Blvd. and Montana Avenue), meditation classes and discussion groups have become an activity of growing interest in the past few years. During 2009 there was a much enjoyed class on Jewish meditation taught by Rinat Amir, who has many years of experience teaching and practicing contemplative Jewish meditation techniques. During the mid-afternoon portion of Yom Kippur day services in the Fall of 2009, Rabbi Malka Mittelman led a gathering of "Jewish Yoga" that combined soulful Hebrew music and chanting with relaxing postures and a chance to connect deeply with the extraordinary spiritual energies of the holiest day of the year.

AN OPPORTUNITY TO MEDITATE

On Tuesday February 9th, 2010 and Tuesday February 16, 2010 there will be a two-part experiential class in how to meditate, taught by Jane Best. Jane has been meditating for 30 years and she joined Ahavat Torah during the 2008-2009 year.

I asked her what the class will be like and she explained, "I intend to keep it simple. It's open to everyone; for anyone who has never meditated and for anyone who has meditated and wants to go deeper into the experience of oneness. The group support can be very helpful for deeper meditation. The class will also be about integrating this experience in our daily lives."

In a relaxed environment the class will practice different meditation techniques as well as address:
--how to prepare ourselves for meditation.
--how to discover what style works best for each of us personally.
--how to welcome and embrace the divine experience.

If you are curious, or even if you are skeptical, you are welcome to join this class. Please plan to attend both sessions as it will support the momentum and depth of the group. Please wear comfortable clothes.

The class begins at 7:30 on both evenings, Tuesday February 9th and Tuesday February 16th. The location will be announced in the Ahavat Torah newsletter.

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For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation, visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or explore the weblog articles at http://www.creatingsacredcommunity.blogspot.com/.

New Year's Resolutions and Mussar Class

2009-12-20T14:29:00.000-08:00

As we approach the turning point of January 1st, 2010, many Jews are in the habit of making New Year's resolutions or vows to improve something that needs a bit of improvement.

This year it might be a resolution to spend more time with cherished friends, family members, and loved ones. Or a vow to follow through on your health and fitness goals. Or a quest to finish a creative project that got sidetracked several times. Or a promise to be less judgmental, or more patient and caring with certain challenging individuals who test you every so often. Or a profound wish to live up to your highest ideals.

Sometimes it's a vow or resolution that we made already at the Jewish High Holydays in September. Sometimes it's a new resolution for 2010 or a fine-tuning of an earlier vow.

THE DILEMMA

But since vows easily get broken and human beings are said to be 90% likely to fail at their New Year's resolutions, is there anything you can do this year to not just talk the talk, but somehow to follow through and improve things in actuality? Is there some setting where individuals can clarify how to live up to your highest ideals and how to stay true to your deepest values more consistently?

One possibility is the Mussar class that Rabbi Miriam Hamrell leads each Saturday morning before services at Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood. Mussar is the not-widely-known Jewish tradition of individual character refinement and integrity-seeking that was outlined by Rabbi Yisrael Lipkin Salanter in the 19th century and that has been reemerging in recent years in many liberal and progressive congregations worldwide. It seems the more frantic and overloaded our lives become in the 21st century, the more we can benefit from a discussion group that clarifies how to live each day closer to our deepest values of compassion and goodness.

Popularized in the past few years by several acclaimed books on Mussar (including Alan Morinis' "Everyday Holiness"), Mussar discussion groups are designed to help busy individuals apply the ethics and personal growth insights from the written Torah, the oral Torah, and a variety of great teachers to dilemmas we face in our daily lives and complicated interactions with loved ones and strangers.

A NON-JUDGMENTAL SETTING

At Ahavat Torah, Rabbi Miriam started this particular Mussar class in the Fall of 2006 as an "all-are-welcome," "work-on-yourself-and-don't-judge-others" study and discussion group that meets from 9:00 a.m. until 10:00 a.m. each Saturday morning in the Fireside Room of the synagogue prior to Shabbat services.

Each week the size of the discussion group varies from 15 early risers to 30-40 lively souls on certain weeks. Some men and women show up consistently, while others come and go and return when they are able. Yet for each person there are several common threads, including:

--A chance to study in depth some highly-regarded Jewish texts on ethics and daily dilemmas that most of us face at home, at work, or in our friendships.

--A chance to learn from the struggles and insights of others who share their spiritual journeys, their questions, and their personal breakthroughs with honesty and humility.

--A chance to learn from Rabbi Miriam how she uses these profound Jewish teachings in her own daily life and holy struggles.

--A chance to ask questions and resolve the concerns you've always wrestled with about the connection between Jewish spiritual teachings and everyday integrity issues.

CONSTANTLY EVOLVING

The Mussar discussion group at Ahavat Torah votes every few months on what text to study next. So far, the weekly discussions have been sparked by studying in depth the following books:

--The first year was a study of Mussar steps and insights as described by Daniel Feldman in his book "The Right and the Good: Halakhah and Human Relations."

--Then the class spent several months exploring in detail each of the insights and challenges offered in Chapter Three of Pirke Avot (the Sayings of Our Ancestors).

--Next the class began to read and discuss one of the key books that inspired Rabbi Salanter to develop the Mussar system. It was called "Mesillas Yesharim: Lights Along the Way" by Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto.

--Then the class did another brainstorming session and voted to read and discuss each of the insights and teachings in Chapter One of Pirke Avot, only this time to utilize every so often a version of Pirke Avot that includes the insights on each verse as described in Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, and other traditions.

--Pretty soon the Mussar class will be brainstorming again on what to study next for going deeper into the connection between Jewish ethics, character refinement, and daily life.

A NEW YEAR'S INVITATION

Please don't feel you have to be a super Jew or a longtime scholar to enter the class and put in your questions and insights. Each week there are visitors and new members who offer wonderful ideas and raise excellent concerns even if they have never before been part of a Jewish study group or a Mussar discussion group.

What matters is that every individual in the Saturday morning Mussar class shows up ready to learn from each person's unique and different life experiences. Each week you will be surprised at how a passage from a Jewish text or a comment from someone you barely know can help shed new light on a dilemma you've been facing in your private life or your spiritual journey. Quite often the Mussar class becomes a safe place not only to grow deeper in your Judaism but also in your quest to live up to your highest values.

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The Mussar class with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell meets at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood from 9am until 10am, immediately prior to Shabbat services.
There are no pre-requisites, but mutual respect and confidentiality are mandatory.

For more information about Ahavat Torah or the several other classes and discussion groups that meet regularly, please visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/.

Ten Reasons to Celebrate Hanukkah THIS YEAR

2009-11-26T09:52:00.001-08:00

NUMBER 10: You have been so careful all year about eating healthy--and now your body deserves to enjoy an exquisite crispy latke with sour cream and apple sauce.

NUMBER 9: The non-stop caroling music in the malls started this year in late October and there have been over 10,000 ads on television about "Black Friday." Would it kill you to have a little bit of Jewish joy this December?

NUMBER 8: A Hanukkah party is one of those rare moments when the grown-ups feel like kids while the children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and neighbor kids feel they are a part of living history.

NUMBER 7: This year there has been so much sadness in the world at large and in many of our families. Maybe we do need to light a candle and feel connected with community more than ever.

NUMBER 6: There is an "Antiochus Wanna-Be" in Tehran who thinks it's possible to wipe out the Jews. When you light candles, spin dreydels, dance with joy, and join together as one people this December you are saying to him, "No way. Not this time."

NUMBER 5: This year we enjoy the fact that at Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood there is remarkable cooperation and warmth between the lively Jews who use the Gem in the Glen on Saturdays, the lively Lutherans who gather on Sundays, and the lively Muslims who worship on Fridays. This year we celebrate the fact that our Rabbi Miriam Hamrell has been asked to tell our story (of 3 faiths getting along well) at the Parliament of World Religions during the first week of December. Nes Gadol Hayah Po, Miracles are Happening HERE!!!

NUMBER 4: Most kids, teens, and young adults know this year that in the United States of America they celebrate Jewish holidays now in the White House. Michelle Obama's cousin is a rabbi who joined with Rahm Emanuel, Sasha, Malia, their dad the leader of the free world, and a diverse group of Jews and non-Jews for a passionate Seder in April 2009. This year in December 2009 they might also be having dreydels, latkes, sufganiyot, and a menorah at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

NUMBER 3: When we celebrate Hanukkah and joyfully stand up for religious freedom, we honor the memory of every man and woman who has risked their lives to declare, "I am a Jew." We dance and sing this year for Hannah Senesch and Danny Pearl and Rabbi Akiva and our 6 million family members and every Israeli soldier who has ever risked his or her life for our people.

NUMBER 2: You've already watched Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life" more times than you have fingers. This year is an opportunity to turn off the TV and come celebrate the freedom and creativity that is yours.

NUMBER 1: The miracle of Hanukkah is not just the oil that burned for 8 days. It's that the inner light of an Infinite Source of Love is still strong in our hearts, in our families, and in our inspiring community.

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Please bring some light and joy into this season. You and your friends and loved ones are invited to come celebrate the Festival of Lights with Ahavat Torah Congregation at our annual Hanukkah party, Tuesday night, December 15th at 6:30 pm. All are welcome!

The live music, dancing, festive foods, children's craft table, and amazing desserts will happen at 343 Church Lane (between Sunset Blvd. and Montana Avenue, one block west of the 405 Freeway).

Bring your own Hanukkah menorah and candles to add to the light and celebration. Also bring a book or CD to share.

Children under 10 can celebrate for free, Adults and Teens are asked to contribute $10.

To RSVP or if you have questions, please contact Blanche Moss at 310 271-4042 or moimoss@aol.com.

WILL WE STAND IDLY BY?

2009-10-08T14:25:00.000-07:00

Why do good people stay on the sidelines even when some horrific situation grabs their attention?
It's a question many people asked during and after the Holocaust. Then in 1964 in the Kew Gardens section of Queens, New York, a woman named Kitty Genovese was attacked repeatedly and murdered while 38 neighbors did nothing.

During the next few decades, many psychologists (who said they were moved by the Holocaust and the Kitty Genovese murder) created research studies to understand why good people stand idly by. They discovered that most good people tend to stay on the sidelines if:
--they thought someone else was going to take care of the situation for them.
--they felt powerless to do anything that might make a difference.
--they refused to let themselves feel distressed enough to truly care and take action.

A JEWISH CALL TO ACTION

Like most American Jews, I've read newspaper reports during the past 20 years about genocides and "ethnic cleansing" in various parts of the world. Because I am the child of a Holocaust survivor, I want to believe that the passionate words "Never Again" apply not just to Jewish survival but to preventing or stopping genocides for any group that is being targeted by a vicious attacker.

But I will be honest. Besides writing a few small checks and attending a few cerebral conferences, I didn't do very much about these horrific atrocities. I assumed that someone else was probably in a better position to take care of these situations than I was. In addition, I felt somewhat powerless and skeptical about doing anything effective that might make an impact.

Then a few years ago I picked up my son Steven from Sunday School and saw that on this particular Sunday there were a few volunteers from a group called Jewish World Watch who had taught my son and many other kids how to do a very practical thing:
--to make decorated pot-holders and back-packs that were going to be sent to the Darfur region of Sudan to be used with free solar cookers so that women in the war-torn region could take care of their families without having to walk several miles for firewood and most likely get raped by marauding groups of government-backed militias.

I found out from one of the Jewish World Watch volunteers that these women in Darfur had a horrible choice to make--a lot like Sophie's Choice. If they sent their husband or brother to leave their camps to get firewood for cooking, the men would be killed by the violent militias who were targeting their ethnic group for extinction. If the women decided not to risk the life of their husband or brother, but chose to go on their own or with a sister or daughter to get firewood, then they would likely be raped and possibly murdered by the militias who were trying to intimidate and destroy their people. If they did nothing, they would starve.

I began to wonder, "Who are these individuals at Jewish World Watch? How do they decide which genocide situations in the world can be stopped? How did they get so creative that they came up with a very do-able way to save the lives and prevent the rape of tens of thousands of African women? Besides providing tens of thousands of solar cookers, what other leverage are they able to exert? Could a Jewish organization located in Southern California truly be effective in saving hundreds of thousands of lives in a land not far from Israel?"

THE ADVANTAGE OF BEING SMALL, NIMBLE, AND FLEXIBLE

On Saturday morning, November 21st at Ahavat Torah Congregation (located between Westwood and Brentwood near Montana Avenue and the 405 Freeway), Naama Haviv of Jewish World Watch will be describing the next action steps her organization has come up with to respond effectively and creatively to the most horrific genocides currently taking place in the Darfur region of Sudan, in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and in other heart-wrenching areas of the world.

I interviewed Naama recently at her small office in Encino (which is the size of a middle-class living room and has a staff of five professionals who can hear each other's phone conversations constantly) to find out how Jewish World Watch is able to mobilize tens of thousands of Jews (mostly from Southern California) to take effective steps for using leverage and creative approaches for stopping genocides, rapes, mass murders, and ethnic intimidation tactics. Frankly, I have never before experienced an organization that does so much good without a lot of overhead or wasteful spending.

According to Naama, who is the mother a four month old child and is a brilliant scholar/activist trained at the Genocide and Holocaust Studies Program at Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts, "When Rabbi Harold Schulweis started Jewish World Watch in 2004, he wanted to make sure that our experience and values as Jews could be utilized to save lives in a major way. Our director Janice Kamenir-Reznick has a law, business, and hands-on activism background which helps her to frequently come up with practical ideas like the solar cooker project in Sudan to get immediate and crucial help to people who are in desperate situations. Since our organization has such a small, nimble, and flexible staff of five people, but we also have the ability to mobilize huge numbers of passionate volunteers, fundraisers, and team-builders at more than 60 local congregations, we are able to try out new ideas and innovative approaches that larger organizations with big national offices can't do."

One of the reasons Jewish World Watch has been so effective in such a short amount of time to save lives and influence legislation and media attention is because they know how to work with already existing temples, social action committees, activist groups, and numerous allies. Naama explains, "We didn't try to build a big organization, but instead we found ways to mobilize and empower numerous congregations who felt the urgency of what we are addressing but they became far more effective when they combined their talents and passion through carefully-designed projects that can help save lives and influence public opinion immediately. For instance, even though Ahavat Torah Congregation is not a large temple, it has been extremely active and helpful far beyond what anyone could have anticipated. As a result of the many people who contribute to our programs and show up for our activism events, we have been able to influence important legislation, develop three medical clinics and maternity wards in Darfur, purchase and build numerous wells to provide life-saving drinking water to hundreds of thousands of refugees, and significantly reduce the number of rapes and murders in war-torn areas."

"IT'S A VERY PERSONAL DECISION"

Vivian Gold is a psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles and an Associate Clinical Professor at the UCLA Medical School. Active on the social action committee of Ahavat Torah Congregation, Vivian became interested in doing more for Jewish World Watch because, "When I heard that 5 1/2 million people have been killed in recent years in the Congo, that number was so close to the 6 million that we all remember so strongly. It was like a bell went off in my head that said, 'Wake up. This is happening right now and we need to do a lot more to stop it.'"

Vivian adds, "Then when I learned how frequently rape is being used as a weapon to terrorize women and humiliate men in these countries, I knew as a woman that this is a very personal issue. We are probably the first generation in history to stand up for the fact that rape is no longer permissible as 'the spoils of war' or 'business as usual during war-time.' And then when I heard that the genocide in the Congo is related to militias trying to displace people from mineral-rich lands so that these war-lords can make millions of dollars selling the raw minerals that are used in cell phones and computers sold in affluent countries, I knew I couldn't just stay uninvolved."

THE CELL PHONE CONNECTION

At the November 21st presentation and discussion, Naama Haviv will explore recent discoveries about the horrible violence in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and the efforts of Jewish World Watch to get cell phone manufacturers and distributors to start tracing what mines were tapped for their cell phone materials, especially the tin, tungsten, and tantalum that are sold illegally to some of the major companies that make many of our cell phones and electronics components.

According to Naama, "Jewish World Watch is taking a leadership position right now to get the United States Congress to pass legislation requiring cell phone makers to trace and identify whether their phones are profiting the vicious militias in the Congo who are raping women in large numbers and chopping up bodies to intimidate people to vacate certain areas where the minerals are being mined illegally."

She explains, "Just like blood diamonds are no longer permissible and there is a careful certification process in place for any diamond ring you buy today, so will we be able soon to trace the exact mine origins of the minerals in each cell phone we buy. But for now we need to work quickly with our congressional representatives and our cell phone executives to correct a horrific situation where many of us are financially aiding some of the most awful atrocities in the Congo that we've ever witnessed in human history."

WHO SHOULD ATTEND?

If you are someone who owns a cell phone, or if you are a Jewish man or woman who is tired of feeling powerless and sidelined about situations in the world that are much too similar to the Holocaust, or if you are simply someone with a compassionate heart, you will probably feel inspired and empowered by meeting and hearing Naama Haviv on November 21st. Born in Israel, she grew up in Illinois, Massachusetts, and California before devoting her studies and her career to the prevention and halting of genocides.

The schedule for that Saturday morning will include:
--Mussar class at 9 a.m. with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell (on how to bring Jewish teachings about living with integrity to everyday situations).
--Lively Shabbat Services from 10 a.m. until 12:20 p.m.
--A friendly and welcoming pot-luck dairy lunch from 12:20 p.m. until 1 p.m.
--Naama Haviv discussing new visions and action steps from Jewish World Watch from 1 p.m. until 2:15 p.m.

Ahavat Torah Congregation meets at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood, 1 block north of Montana Avenue and 6 blocks south of Sunset Blvd., 1 block west of Sepulveda and the 405 Freeway. For more information call 310 362-1111 or log onto http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/. Everyone is welcome to be a part of this important event.

THE BRIEF MOMENTS THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE

2009-09-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

A woman walks into the sanctuary of a congregation where she has never been before. She's had a stressful week.

She looks around at unfamiliar faces and sees that many congregants are greeting one another with warm embraces and lively conversation. She feels left out and alone.

Then a stranger gently comes up and says with a caring smile, "Hello. Shabbat Shalom. Here's a prayerbook that we use at services and that was put together by members of our congregation so that it could be accessible for those who know the prayers already, as well as those who are unfamiliar with the prayers but who want to understand the deeper meanings and intentions of the blessings and meditations."

The two women talk for a few minutes--warmly, genuinely, unpretentiously. The new visitor no longer feels so alone. In fact, she's quite surprised at how quickly she is starting to feel at home in this warm congregation called Ahavat Torah.

WHO'S THE GIVER, WHO'S THE RECEIVER?

I've always been fascinated by the volunteer greeters who reach out to those who are new (and also to those who have been to services before but who might enjoy an extra warm "hello, how are you" at the beginning of services). Who are these greeters? Why do they show up a little earlier than most other people? What are they thinking and feeling when they do their volunteer task? And are they always in the role of giving, or do they tend to receive something as well?

Helene Silber works at UCLA Extension on weekdays but on many Saturday mornings she is one of the volunteer greeters at Ahavat Torah Congregation, a few blocks west of the UCLA campus. According to Helene, "I decided to volunteer and be a greeter a few years ago and everytime I say to someone 'Good Shabbos' I feel as though it's coming back to me. The hugs, smiles, and words of recognition transcend me away from the everyday multi-tasking, multi-stressing into a special holy space. I feel myself giving love and getting love from my spiritual community. Ah, being Jewish, it is good, it is very good."

For Helene and many of the other greeters, the sacredness of Shabbat takes on an added dimension due to these moments of kindness. Helene explains, "There have been moments when I knew someone was going through a tough time, and I could reach out. Then there's often a smile or a gentle touch back that feels especially inspiring." Clearly, the greeters are not just chanting the words of the service but living up to the idea of the ancient prayers to open one's heart and be a vessel for Divine compassion.

Barbara Stone, a 5th grade teacher at a Science Magnet public school in Los Angeles, has been a greeter for the past 3 years. She has found, "It's a great way to start the day by saying Shabbat Shalom and making sure that new visitors and long-time congregants have what they need in order for them to have a meaningful experience at services."

Barbara feels, "It's important not to be too invasive when someone enters the sanctuary or is trying to get settled, but rather to be attentive and make sure this person feels welcomed and comfortable. No one wants to walk into a big room where they feel ignored or where they feel too pressured about anything. Many of us have been in exactly that situation in other congregations where you feel invisible or much too pressured right away."

In addition to the warmth she receives from the women and men she greets at services, Barbara finds, "One of the best parts of being a greeter is how much Rabbi Miriam thanks us with so much warmth and sincerity. At this congregation, the brief moments of greeting someone are not treated like a small thing but rather as something that increases the warmth of the services for each person in attendance."

Pattye Asarch, who has worked for ABC Television and other jobs, says that her volunteer work for Ahavat Torah as a greeter "gives me a lot of pleasure. I know what it's like to feel overlooked or left out, so I'm hoping that when I give a welcome to someone, hand this person our prayer book, and help them find their way in our community it makes a difference for that person."

Two of the most consistent greeters are no longer able to welcome people each week. New York native Janice Silberstein was a much-beloved greeter for several years until her sudden death this past year. British-born Lily Taylor greeted guests and members quite often for several years with her gracious, caring style until she recently moved to the Bay Area to be close to her extended family.

THE FORMAL AND THE INFORMAL

For a while, it was somewhat random and unplanned at Ahavat Torah regarding how to greet newcomers. But early on in the history of this 7 year old congregation, Sid Rosenblatt (who was then in charge of the Membership Committee) and Arlene Rosenblatt (who has helped welcome people and make them feel at home in the congregation in numerous ways) decided that being a greeter should be a solid commitment. According to Sid, "When I became membership chairman, Arlene and I did most of the greeting and enjoyed the opportunity of welcoming new worshippers, giving hugs to our members, and being the first to wish them 'Shabbat Shalom!'"

Eventually there was a dependable weekly list for each service of who are the greeters and a shared commitment by several volunteers to make sure each week there is sufficient attention given to making people feel comfortable and helping the Rabbi and Cantorial Soloists by responding to whatever logistics issues arise in the middle of a service. (The greeter list is coordinated by current membership committee director Ellen Dubois).

Quite often there are unexpected moments when the greeters do more than just greet people. One week when the congregational plumbing was "challenged", the greeters and other volunteers were immediately able to come up with creative solutions to make sure congregants were comfortable. At other times when visitors from the Twelve Step meetings in the social hall have entered the congregation, the greeters have been caring and helpful to explain to the visitors what the spiritual service is about and to welcome these individuals who had never seen a Jewish Shabbat gathering before.

But consistently 52 weeks a year at Ahavat Torah Congregation, it's not just the greeters who reach out to newcomers or who volunteer to be helpful. According to Rita Reuben, a social worker with many years of experience in large and small organizations, "One of the things I love about Ahavat Torah is that to some extent everyone feels like a greeter. I've seen so many moments where someone was kind to a newcomer or to a longtime congregant who was going through a hard time. We just seem to attract that kind of compassionate, thoughtful person."

David Rose, an accountant and financial advisor, describes how, "I have never been an actual greeter but I've often helped with putting away our books after services. I especially appreciate the efforts made by many of our members who carry multiple sets of books to me for storage. Some in the congregation just leave their books at their seats and I generally make a final tour of the pews to pick up these books. Michael Josephson in his 'Character Counts' articles and broadcasts, has talked about those who put their shopping carts away and those who do not. And I say hooray to the many people in our congregation whose 'character does count.'"

CREATING AN ENDLESS CHAIN

Quite often the kindness of one person in the congregation leads to an ongoing chain reaction of kindness. For example, Ellen Kimmel is a psychotherapist who describes how, "My first time at Ahavat Torah not very long ago, the greeters were very welcoming to me and made me feel at home. In fact, many congregants at Ahavat Torah were genuine and friendly. We were greeted not just by the official greeters, but by several other thoughtful and interesting people, too. They all made us feel we were a part of the congregation right away. I then began to attend services more often--and soon I decided to volunteer and make someone else feel as included as I was made to feel my first time attending services."

Ellen Kimmel recently became an official new member of Ahavat Torah and she's taken her place several times among the list of greeters who welcome each person at services with a warm 'Shabbat Shalom' and whatever support is needed.

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For more information about the weekly Shabbat services, the High Holyday services, or the many social action programs, classes, and celebrations of the congregation, please visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or log onto http://www.creatingsacredcommunity.blogspot.com/ . Or call (310) 362-1111.

Or come see for yourself the Shabbat services (10 a.m. - 12:15 p.m. each Saturday morning) or the weekly Mussar class (on how to use Jewish teachings to strengthen one's character and daily mindfulness) from 9-10 am each Saturday. Both of these gatherings are held at 343 Church Lane (between Montana and Sunset) just west of the 405 Freeway in Brentwood.

WHO'S ON YOUR MIND THIS HIGH HOLYDAY SEASON?

2009-08-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

Like many Jews, I have been searching for a High Holyday experience that is extremely meaningful and opens up the heart.

When I was a child in Detroit, I attended Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services at a very large congregation where the Cantor had a great voice and the Rabbi was a good person, but their words and their rituals seemed far removed from my daily life as a rebellious teenager.

It wasn't until I became an adult in Los Angeles at a smaller and more intimate congregation that the personal relevance and the healing possibilities of the High Holydays began to reach deeply into my soul.

If you (or someone else you care about) have felt bored, left out, or frustrated at a Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur service that didn't inspire you in a profound way, I hope this year will be different and better.

After interviewing many women and men of all ages on what causes them to feel uplifted (or to feel let down) by the High Holydays, here are a few specific things that you or someone you care about can do this year to improve things:

Possibility #1: MAKE SURE TO START YOUR INNER EXPLORATIONS EARLIER THIS YEAR

Most people show up on the actual date of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur feeling quite stressed and somewhat distracted from the pressures of their work, their family situation, random traffic jams, their cell phones, the unstable economy, or an emotionally-exhausting health crisis. But I've found that many highly-perceptive women and men who manage to get the most out of these sacred holidays tend to start a little earlier to ask their heart, their soul, and their kishkas, "What are my deepest longings this year? Where am I missing the mark on following through with my soul's current purpose? What are the hurt feelings and miscommunications I carry inside that need to be cleared up? Who do I need to forgive? And is there someone I need to ask for forgiveness?"

At Ahavat Torah Congregation, which meets each Saturday morning in Brentwood at 343 Church Lane near Montana Avenue and the 405, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell gives gentle and loving reminders during August and throughout September about the ancient and modern teachings that can help us open up our hearts and begin to heal during the weeks leading up to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

These pro-active inner explorations are discussed during the Hebrew month of Elul (August 21st - September 18th) and there are some extremely helpful and inspiring teachings at this time of year about how to "circumcise one's heart" and "remove the emotional scar tissue and coverings" that are holding each of us back from the unrestricted love and creative flow that we long for.

It is said by several rabbis that the four Hebrew letters of Elul are the same as the first letters of the heartfelt words from the Song of Songs that we all hear at most Jewish weddings, "Ahnee l'dodee, v'dodee lee, I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."

So during the late-summer month of Elul we are encouraged to look closely at each of our loving relationships and to ask ourselves honestly if we are feeling a bit distant or disconnected toward a spouse, an ex, a friend, a former friend, a neighbor, a sibling, a child, a co-worker, a troubled relative, or someone else from long ago who is still in our thoughts. We take a moment to admit if someone has hurt us or if we have (intentionally or unintentionally) hurt someone else, even in the smallest way.

We also are encouraged to take some time during the month of Elul to look honestly at our loving relationship (or our feelings of disconnection) with the hard-to-define "One who is beyond human understanding." The weeks leading up to the High Holydays are an especially crucial time to ask, "Does this mysterious bond between my soul and the creative Soul of the universe feel like a relationship that is fully vibrant and grateful recently?" Or is there some healing that needs to be explored between you and the One who originally brought you to this dance called life?

High Holyday Improvement Possibility #2: PICK ONE OR MORE ACTION STEPS FOR HEALING AND RENEWAL THAT YOU WANT TO EXPLORE DURING THE HIGH HOLYDAY SEASON

What makes this time of year so profound and rich for many individuals is that it's not just about contemplation but also about taking action. During these awesome weeks of honest soul-searching there are many possible options for awakening your higher self and reconnecting with what truly matters in your life. Some actions steps you might consider in the next few weeks are:

--Attending a class about how to use Jewish methods to open your heart and heal on a spiritual level. Rabbi Miriam Hamrell will be discussing how to use Psalms and other profound ways to prepare for the High Holydays during her Saturday morning Mussar classes the next few weeks from 9-10 am at the Gem in the Glen, 343 Church Lane in Brentwood. Everyone is invited, including those who have not attended a Mussar class recently (Mussar is the Jewish practice of working on character/integrity issues using ancient and modern Jewish teachings). Also on Tuesday night August 25th and Tuesday night September 1st there will be classes available for anyone who is interested in how to understand High Holyday prayers and meditations, taught by congregation member Rinat Amir and Rabbi Miriam.

--Attending the beautiful and spiritually-profound holiday of Selichot (a Hebrew word that means forgiveness) on Saturday night, September 12th where Rabbi Miriam will lead a discussion on how to take action toward repairing our relationships with others, with God, and with ourselves. Selichot is celebrated each year on the Saturday night approximately a week prior to Rosh Hashanah to open up our hearts to some sacred melodies and to the relationship-repair steps of the holiday season.

--Reading a book or a chapter of a book that takes you deeper into your personal exploration of the mysteries of faith, doubt, renewal, healing our strained relationships, when to forgive and when to let go, plus how to turn important areas of your life toward a more holy direction.

--Making a commitment to join a Torah study group, a Mussar study group, or discuss with a friend or study partner each week how to stay on track toward the goals and vows that are most important to you.

High Holyday Improvement Possibility #3: SELECT A PLACE FOR ROSH HASHANAH AND YOM KIPPUR WHERE YOU WILL FEEL WELCOMED AND RESPECTED FOR EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE THIS YEAR AS AN IMPERFECT BUT WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING

I remember as a child that for many of the members of my congregation in Detroit, the High Holydays seemed to be about getting dressed up in fancy clothes, keeping score on who's doing well and who isn't, or trying to pretend everything was fine even when it wasn't.

Thankfully, I have found as an adult that at places like Ahavat Torah (which holds its Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services each year in the beautiful sanctuary of Kehillat Maarav on 21st and Olympic in Santa Monica), it's not about superficial appearances or clever cover-ups.

There's something positively transforming about walking into a holy sanctuary with bright stained glass windows of Jewish themes, gorgeous flower arrangements put together by Ahavat Torah member Val Eule, and lots of warm and friendly women and men of all ages. Rather than feeling coldly institutional or intellectually rigid, there is a sense of inclusive community and lively participation that can be felt by long-time members and complete strangers who are there for the very first time.

The Ahavat Torah services have both Hebrew and English (with easy-to-follow transliterations of the Hebrew words for non-Hebrew speakers). There are numerous times during the services when members and non-members are invited to share from the heart or to ask questions about the deeper meaning of particular sections of the services.

Rabbi Miriam Hamrell each year speaks eloquently at various key moments of the services about her own "holy struggles" and how she deals with them in a humble and inspiring way. Cantorial Soloist Gary Levine not only has an amazing voice but also is able to bring sincere emotion to the way he phrases and chants the thought-provoking melodies so that each of us in the congregation goes deeper in our understanding of the sacred meditations.

This year the inspiring music will also include at times the exquisite singing of Associate Cantorial Soloist Kimberly Haynes, as well as the Kol Nidre cello of Marion Klein, and the Ahavat Torah volunteer "mini-choir" consisting of Judy Dubin, Vivian Gold, Marion Klein, and Jonathan Troper.

Because Rabbi Miriam and Torah trope guide Rena Jaffe have been encouraging more people to be a part of chanting the sacred teachings, there are several members currently practicing the melodies and words for the Torah and Haftarah portions, including Pattye Asarch, Sasha Borenstein, Beth Devermont, Estelle Fisher, Sasha Firman, Vivian Gold, Rena Jaffe, Aharon Nachshon, Gloria Orenstein, Glynnis Ortiz Golden, Judith Rafael, Rita Reuben, Arva Rose, and Judy Weintraub Warren.

Ahavat Torah is a place where people who grew up Reform, Conservative, Traditional, Non-traditional, or Unaffiliated all can join together in a welcoming and non-judgmental congregation that calls itself "One Torah, One People, Many Teachers." Most of us can remember feeling bored or frustrated at some High Holyday service years ago. That's why so many of us feel extremely glad to have found a growing community that is so lively, friendly, and inspiring. Together this congregation that is only 7 years old has created a safe place to do the important inner work of healing, repair, and renewal that takes us into a new year of blessings.

(Please feel free to forward or give this August/September weblog article to anyone who wants to deepen their experience of the High Holydays this year).

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For more information about Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, or other services and social action programs of Ahavat Torah Congregation,
please call 310 362-1111 or visit the website http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/.

This year the High Holydays will be:
--Selichot (exploring forgiveness) Saturday night, Sept 12 at the Gem in the Glen, 343 Church Lane near Montana and the 405 in Brentwood
--Rosh Hashanah Eve, Friday night, Sept 19 at Kehillat Maarav, 21st and Olympic in Santa Monica
--Rosh Hashanah Day, Saturday, Sept 20 at Kehillat Maarav, 21st and Olympic in Santa Monica
--Tashlich (letting go of old habits and opening up to new visions) at the beach in Santa Monica, Saturday afternoon, Sept 20
--Kol Nidre Service, Erev Yom Kippur, Sunday night Sept 27 at Kehillat Maarav, 21st and Olympic in Santa Monica
--Yom Kippur Day (Morning Prayer Service, Torah Teachings, Jonah's Journey, Yizkor/Kaddish, Ne'ilah, and Shofar), Monday Sept 28 at Kehillat Maarav, 21st and Olympic in Santa Monica
--Break-the-Fast Community Dinner, immediately following services, Monday night, Sept 28 at Kehillat Maarav

HEARING THE SACRED MELODIES AFTER SOME TIME AWAY

2009-07-28T17:01:00.000-07:00

Every year when September arrives, something mysterious happens. Jewish men and women of all ages suddenly show up at temples and synagogues.

In the Los Angeles area, surveys tell us that there are approximately 500,000 Jews and that 75% rarely attend religious services EXCEPT on the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

Why do the majority of 21st century Jews in our city make the choice nearly every September to come back into synagogues? Why do they set aside a number of hours to hear the sacred melodies and do the inner work of the High Holy Days (even when they don't consider themselves very religious)?

I decided to ask several men and women who attended holiday services at my temple last year for their honest feelings about this complicated personal decision. I wanted to understand what the High Holy Days mean to them spiritually, psychologically, individually.

All names have been changed to protect privacy.

Here's what I found:

--Bruce is a holistic health practitioner in his 20's who grew up in a home where he recalls "there was a fairly strong sense of Jewish identity but not much religious observance." Bruce felt estranged from Judaism for many years but he came back three years ago to High Holy Day services at Ahavat Torah (a relatively new congregation founded in 2002 that meets weekly for Shabbat services in Brentwood and in September for the annual holy days in Santa Monica).

According to Bruce, "I'd already met Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and I sensed she was welcoming, non-judgmental, and very open to all my questions and mixed feelings about trying to find a place to reconnect with my Jewishness. Then at the holiday services in Santa Monica, I met people of all ages who were friendly, sincere, and quite willing to accept me exactly the way I am. For the first time in years I felt connected again with the sounds of the shofar and the prayers that help me sort out what really matters."

--Rachel is a creative business owner in her 50's who wanted to find a place for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur where, "I could bring my widowed father who wants to hear the traditional melodies sung beautifully, but where there also would be a lot of accessible teachings and discussions in English that would address my need for making things meaningful and practical for my busy life. I go to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services on most years because I want a place and a time to check in and ask myself in a deep way whether I'm living up to my soul's highest purpose or whether I need a bit of a tune-up."

Rachel heard about Ahavat Torah from a friend who belongs to the seven year old congregation of Jews primarily from Reform and Conservative backgrounds. As Rachel discovered, "It was so refreshing to see my father loving the sacred melodies led by Cantor Gary Levine's exquisite deep voice, while I was also feeling nourished by the deep inner work and great questions offered by Rabbi Miriam and the other speakers. Not only did it cost much less than at most congregations, but the value from those services stayed with me throughout the year."

--Janet and Stewart have been married (mostly peacefully) for many years but have rarely agreed on where to attend religious services. According to Janet, "Since I grew up in a secular Jewish family, I tend to feel left out in congregations where there isn't much room for dissent or rebellious spirits."

According to Stewart, "I'm also a bit of a rebel, but I want my High Holy Day services to feel and sound like the soulful and moving traditional melodies I grew up with and that remind me of all those times I spent the holidays with my parents and grandparents."

At Ahavat Torah, Janet and Stewart found services that combined both a sacred sense of holiness and an openness to varying points of view. As Janet explained, "I'd never been to a service before where there was so much thoughtful discussion and passionate participatory singing by the congregation. It felt so alive and meaningful, while at the same time there was tremendous respect for those of us who question everything and who need to turn it all inside out a few times before we trust whether it makes sense personally. I was so surprised that at Ahavat Torah the rabbi, the cantor, the active members, and the many guests all seemed to have a sense of being humble and caring, no matter what kind of Jew we are."

--Ellie is a film industry executive in her 40's who says she attends High Holy Day services during most years because, "In my family it was just something you did whether you were very religious or not. Especially the part on Yom Kippur where you say Kaddish for your parents and other relatives who are no longer living."

Ellie admits, "But what I didn't realize until last year when I attended services at Ahavat Torah is that I'm also showing up for my own personal needs. " She explains, "I was unexpectedly brought to tears several times by the singing and the profound teachings. Then there was this congregation member named Marion who played the Kol Nidre beautifully and hauntingly on the cello, which got to me in a deep place like I'd never experienced it before."

Ellie recalls, "Then when it came time for the Yizkor memorial prayers for our relatives who are no longer here, I was surprised that at Ahavat Torah they don't rush through the text like at most places. They take a few minutes to talk about what we each learned or appreciated from our family members who are gone...and what fascinating characters our loved ones were with all their mishigass. It was so moving to be part of a community with so much love and so much inclusiveness. I've always been a bit apart from organized religion, but at Ahavat Torah I felt 100% present and filled up with meaningful holy moments."

--For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation and its High Holiday Services in Kehillat Maarav's beautiful sanctuary at 1715 21st Street (at Olympic) in Santa Monica, call 310 362-1111.

Or for more information about the congregation and its weekly Shabbat services, social action programs, classes, location, and activities, visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/.

--This year, High Holy Day tickets can be purchased at a relatively low fee either for the entire series or for a portion of the series that includes:
SELICHOT (preparing for forgiveness), Sat. evening Sept. 12
ROSH HASHANAH, Fri. night Sept. 18 and Sat. Sept. 19
TASHLICH (releasing old habits and affirming new visions) at the beach,
Sat. Sept. 19 late afternoon.
YOM KIPPUR (Kol Nidre) Sun. night, Sept. 27
YOM KIPPUR DAY (Including Yizkor Memorial), Mon. Sept. 28
Followed by a community break-the-fast dinner.

Ahavat Torah welcomes you, whether you are someone who has strong Jewish beliefs, has a moderate involvement with Jewish religion or spirituality, or whether you are quite skeptical or unaffiliated. The lively and inspiring services are conducted in Hebrew and English with easy-to-follow transliterations for those who are unfamiliar with Hebrew.

(Please feel free to forward or give this blog article to anyone you know who might be looking for insights into why most Jews come back for High Holy Day services and where to do so in a welcoming and inspiring place).

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE HAVE A BAT MITZVAH AT 30, 40, 50, 60, OR 70?

2009-06-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

On Saturday morning, March 18, 1922, a twelve-year old named Judith Kaplan stepped up to the bimah of her father's synagogue and did something radical. She later admitted, "It shocked a lot of people, including my own grandparents and aunts and uncles." Her father, a Conservative rabbi named Mordecai Kaplan (who later started the Reconstructionist branch of Judaism), beamed with joy.

For several hundred years, the teenage ritual of studying enough Jewish wisdom in order to consciously accept the responsibility of becoming a Jewish adult and being a key part of the weekly prayer service was reserved for men. Even after the first bat mitzvah of young Judith Kaplan, it took more than 50 additional years before human beings with XX chromosomes could fully lead Shabbat services as ordained rabbis (the first ordained woman rabbi was Sally Priesand at a Reform temple in Jackson, Michigan in 1972).

In fact, the vast majority of bat mitzvah ceremonies until the 1970's were either on Friday nights without reading directly from the actual Torah, or they were held on Saturday mornings with a young woman bat mitzvah celebrant reading (like Judith Kaplan had done) from a printed copy of the text rather than from the sacred ancient scroll.

As a result, most Jewish women alive today in 2009 either didn't have a bat mitzvah as a teenager or they had a watered down version that was "different" in important ways from what the young men were encouraged to do for gaining full entry into the historic community of responsible Jewish adults.

According to Sasha Firman, an ESL (English as a Second Language) educator in Los Angeles, "For many years I'd thought the bat mitzvah I had as a teenager was the real thing. But I later discovered it was held on a Friday night for specific reasons and I was only allowed to recite a particular prayer in the early half of the service because women at that time in my synagogue were still not allowed to interact with the sacred Torah scroll."

But now in the 21st century there are new possibilities. At Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood, there was a packed house of friends, family, congregants, and musicians on a recent Saturday morning. Two more adult women, Sasha Firman and Rita Reuben, stepped forward to culminate their studies and lead the congregation in a bat mitzvah ceremony of Torah chantings, prayers, teachings, and personal insights on what it means today to become a spiritually-morally-conscious adult. Even though the congregation is only six years old, there have been a number of emotionally-inspiring adult bat mitzvah ceremonies every year since 2005 led by Rabbi Miriam Hamrell.

THE DEEPER REASONS WHY

Exactly why does a person in his or her 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, or 70's (with a busy life and lots of responsibilities) decide to spend a significant number of months preparing for this sacred ritual of becoming an adult bar or bat mitzvah?

For Kimberly Haynes, a professional singer who lives in the San Fernando Valley, "As soon as I heard a few years ago that Rabbi Miriam was conducting a class for adult bar and bat mitzvah students, I wanted to say yes. I had just given birth to my son Joshua and I knew he would one day have a bar mitzvah, so I wanted to be able to teach him and inspire him at something I had also done personally. I needed to know what it was all about to stand in front of the congregation and say I'm ready to be part of this great tradition of being a conscious Jew who can take a portion of the Torah, turn it around from various viewpoints, and understand how it applies to our daily lives. I remember sitting at the kitchen table with Rabbi Miriam and the other bat mitzvah students in my group, as the Rabbi taught us how to look deeply into a Torah portion that didn't make much sense at first. But she showed us how to find the nugget of wisdom, the guidance that we can apply to our daily lives. I felt so grateful to be a part of such a beautiful tradition."

According to Estelle Fisher, a psychotherapist in West Los Angeles, "Prior to my bat mitzvah I'd been deepening my spiritual experience through my practice of yoga and both Hindu and Buddhist teachings. Though I was still fully immersed in the culture of Jewish practice, my spiritual needs seemed more deeply addressed through these Eastern practices. But when Rabbi Miriam announced the second adult b'nai mitzvah class, I started thinking about how this ritual and the preparatory study could be significant for helping me to deepen and strengthen my spiritual roots as a Jew. Then when I found out Rabbi Miriam would be taking a group to Israel in the spring of 2008, I proposed the idea to her of doing my bat mitzvah at the Western Wall in Jerusalem. I saw the wheels turning in her head as to how to make it happen. And several months later I was there at the site that would bind me in time to my ancestors...just the thought of it makes me weep."

Rita Reuben, a social worker, mother and grandmother who lives in the mid-Wilshire district, describes how, "I felt as a girl I got short-changed. It had percolated for a long time--my secret desire to want to do a bat mitzvah. But I was a six-time Hebrew school dropout because it had always been too difficult for me to learn a new language as an adult. Yet when I studied with Rena Jaffe from our congregation and with Rabbi Miriam, I was finally able to learn enough Hebrew to understand some of the deeper meanings of many of the prayers, and to get comfortable with the beautiful trope singing of the Torah portion. In fact, I grew to love the Torah chanting--not only because of the beautiful melodies but also from the mystical feeling of reading from the actual Torah."

Arva Rose, an actress and therapist, comments, "I got interested in an adult bat mitzvah when my goddaughter and her mother, my best friend, intimated that they might do it. I'm not sure exactly why, but when I knew it was there, laid out, made available, I trusted that Rabbi Miriam would be kind and helpful and uncritical. So I decided to say yes."

Gloria Orenstein, a professor of comparative literature at USC, recalls, "What I remember from my earlier years is that my brother was given the blessing 'to go forth in life' and I was not. For many years afterward, any time I wanted to engage in some new pursuit, I kind of ran a survey of everyone I knew, seeing whether they thought it was ok for me to do this new thing. I never felt I had the go-ahead to do these things (take risks, go to grad school, get a PhD, etc.) I knew intellectually I didn't need everyone's permission, but I also felt a bit paralyzed. So when I became an adult bat mitzvah, I wanted to speak all that to God. And I discovered by studying for my bat mitzvah, that I am finally able to 'go forth' with a full blessing and to feel so grateful for all that my Jewish background has taught me on how to live in this world."

Ellen DuBois, a history professor at UCLA, explains, "I combined the bat mitzvah with a lavish sixtieth birthday party and it was quite meaningful that my relatives from Seattle, Tucson, Boston, Atlanta and Baltimore all came here to be part of it, since I'm usually traveling to where they are for big events. But what I remember most about my bat mitzvah is that I had a mammoth fight with my sister the night before the ceremony. Even the next morning, I was still struggling with why it happened and what it meant. Then it came to me the morning of the bat mitzvah that my drash about wanting to 'see God's face' was very theoretical and not very personal. Suddenly I decided to end my drash by talking about how we can't see God's 'face' but--thinking about my sister--we can struggle to see God in the faces of other human beings. My point (and I don't think I said it exactly) was that I had lost the image of God in my sister's face and I needed to get back to it."

FEELING FULLY EMBRACED

According to scholars who have studied this coming-of-age ceremony that goes back to the Middle Ages, at its core a bar mitzvah or a bat mitzvah is NOT about reading perfectly, chanting perfectly, speaking perfectly, or "performing." Rather, most experts say it's about being welcomed and fully embraced into the community of adult Jewish seekers of a moral compass for living a meaningful life. When a teenager (or a mid-life individual) stands up to help lead the congregation in prayer or Torah study, he or she is saying implicitly, "I belong. I'm part of this ancient and modern struggle to understand life's challenges through the ever-expanding wisdom of my tradition."

As Rita Reuben explains, "I had imagined I would be up there on the bimah singing the ancient words and melodies, trying to do it 'right.' But at my bat mitzvah a few weeks ago, I felt as if the ancient words and melodies were singing me. It's hard to describe, but it was an other-worldly feeling of being at one with the beautiful melodies and the words of the Torah. I also felt a deep connection with my father and the whole history of the Jewish people--those who were in the congregation, plus those who came before us and those who will follow us, including my grandchildren."

Kimberly Haynes recalls from her adult bat mitzvah three years ago, "I was nervous that day about going up to the front to read from the ancient Torah and giving a speech. But looking out at the sea of people--there were so many loving faces and so much good feeling in the sanctuary. It was like this enormous embrace from all the people there in the room. To receive all that love and support, I feel as if everyone was so proud of us bat mitzvah celebrants for who we truly are as individuals. And that's been a rare feeling in my life."

Please feel free to forward or give this article to anyone who might find it inspiring or useful in their own spiritual journey.

Or if you are interested in possibly having an adult bar or bat mitzvah, you are welcome to talk with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell in person.

Or if you would like additional information about the participatory prayer services, classes, and social action programs of Ahavat Torah in Brentwood, log onto http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or visit http://www.creatingsacredcommunity.blogspot.com/.

Can a Few People Make a Huge Difference?

2009-05-12T10:23:00.000-07:00

(Please feel free to send this article to anyone who is interested in positive ways of creating sacred community or innovative ways of making a difference)

Every day in the mail you probably receive several pitches from worthwhile charities. But how does an individual or a congregation decide where to donate their limited time and resources? How do you make sure you are choosing wisely in trying to repair some broken aspect of the world we share?

Here's one true story about choosing creatively on how to make a significant difference even if you are few in number:

IT PAYS TO BE CURIOUS

Kimball Marsh, who grew up in Los Angeles and was trained as a social worker, was walking near his home a few years ago to do some errands. He saw a blue building near Pico and Robertson from which people were carrying bags of food, even though the building was clearly not a corner grocery store or a supermarket.

Curious about what goes on in his neighborhood, Kimball went inside and found out the blue building contained a non-profit called SOVA (a Hebrew word which means to eat and become fulfilled). Kimball soon learned that SOVA distributes nutritious free food to financially-struggling people of all races and ethnicities, under the sponsorship of the Jewish Family Service of Los Angeles.

Raised in a family where Tikkun Olam (repairing the world) was discussed often, Kimball thought that doing something for SOVA might be a good solo volunteer project. But then a few weeks later, he attended a brainstorming session of the social action committee of the relatively-new congregation he had joined, Ahavat Torah, which gathers each Saturday morning in Brentwood for lively discussions and Sabbath services.

Even though Ahavat Torah is not a large congregation, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and the social action volunteers said at this brainstorming meeting that they wanted to make sure they picked social action projects for the congregation that could spark a significant impact. Kimball wondered if possibly he could make more of a difference for SOVA and its food distribution program if he got his congregation involved in the project as a group effort.

"NOT TRYING TO REINVENT THE WHEEL"

According to Jean Katz, a trained educational consultant who was facilitating that particular brainstorming session, "There are many different ways to pick social action projects. Yet we knew we didn't want to be trying to reinvent the wheel. So we decided to focus on ways of making a sizeable difference where we could give a unique and needed boost to some excellent non-profits that were already in existence."

At the brainstorming session, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell described the enormous impact that could be accomplished if the congregation donated clothes and raised funds to purchase computers and other education tools for students at an innovative school in Israel, called Pardes Hana, that trains young people who have been abused, homeless, or neglected.

Two other members of the social action committee, Estelle Fisher and Sherry Modell, also suggested setting up field trips and personal moments of connection with the residents of a shelter called Grammercy Place in mid-city Los Angeles which supports homeless families and children.

At a later brainstorming session, Sherry Modell also outlined what she learned from other non-profits on the specific steps that could make Ahavat Torah more consistent at using recycled and renewable materials, along with ideas on how to make each congregational event greener and more eco-Kosher (a growing form of Jewish mindfulness and action that honors our human role in taking care of this holy planet).

At several of the social action committee meetings, two other members, Judy Dubin and Vivian Gold, suggested specific ways to get Ahavat Torah aligned with Jewish World Watch and other groups that were responding to the humanitarian crisis in Darfur, including the carefully-organized efforts of Jewish World Watch to help rural women in Darfur to be able to obtain free backpacks with enclosed solar cooking devices that would allow them to avoid travelling for supplies to places where kidnappings and rapes were occuring frequently.

LISTENING TO WHAT'S NEEDED (RATHER THAN ASSUMING)

As a result of these small-group conversations on how to give a unique and needed boost to innovative non-profits that were already in existence, Kimball Marsh went back to SOVA at Pico-Robertson and interviewed the pantry manager, Hessie Axelrod, asking her directly and openly, "What exactly do you need that others aren't yet giving you?"

Hessie Axelrod replied, "We have a lot of volunteers who help pick up and sort donated food items from markets and wholesale food companies. But we always seem to have less cooking oil than is needed for the hundreds of families who rely on us each week."

So Kimball and his mother, Gene Marsh, began to let people know at Sabbath services each week at Ahavat Torah that the congregation would begin collecting quarts of cooking oil every Saturday morning for SOVA to distribute to families in need. At first only a few congregants remembered to bring oil with them to the weekly services. But over time the number has grown.

According to Kimball, "Currently each week for the past two years, a sizeable number of the members of our congregation voluntarily remember during the week to purchase one or more quarts of cooking oil to bring on Saturday morning. I honestly don't know who brings and who doesn't because the bottles of cooking oil are lined up on the congregation's kitchen counter each Shabbat by the time we enter the social hall for our pot-luck meal after services. But I do know that each week there are at least 100 and maybe 200 kids and grown-ups from struggling families who have better tasting food and more dignity as a result of the quarts of cooking oil we take to SOVA to be distributed for free."

As Jean Katz explains, "What's remarkable about Kimball and Gene Marsh is that they keep making the weekly deliveries to SOVA even when one of them is ailing. In addition, Kimball somehow finds a way to announce each week to the congregation in a new and refreshing style how SOVA and its clients at Pico-Robertson depend on our relatively-small congregation for its supply of cooking oil. On some weeks, Kimball makes the announcement in a poem, other weeks in prose as a tie-in to the weekly Torah portion, and still other weeks in a personal story about the lives and families that are counting on us."

THE CURRENT NEED IS GROWING

According to Fred Summers, a recent new member of Ahavat Torah Congregation who is also the overall Director of Operations for the three SOVA sites (Pico-Robertson, Van Nuys, and Beverly-Fairfax), "SOVA has seen a dramatic increase in the number of individuals and families seeking food and resouces in the past nine months--close to a 50% rise. We currently provide free groceries to over 7,000 people each month, which means we need to cultivate additional food donors, additional financial donors, and many more volunteers to help serve the needs of our clients."

Fred explains, "Because we are able to leverage our buying power with food banks and supportive wholesalers, SOVA can typically turn one donated dollar into five or six dollars worth of food. When someone living in poverty describes being hungry or needing to be part of SOVA's weekly food distributions, they're not referring to a growling belly that occurs when it's been three hours since breakfast. Their hunger is about empty cupboards, empty refrigerators, empty wallets, and empty stomachs. Their fear is that their children will not have enough to eat that day or any day. But living in poverty does not mean living without hope. Each month, 7,000 men, women, and children receive help from the people who volunteer and donate to SOVA, so that all who are hungry might have enough food to eat."

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If you want to learn more about how to help SOVA feed the hungry among us, contact www.jfsla.org/sova.

If you want to learn more about the weekly Shabbat services or the social action programs of Ahavat Torah Congregation, which meets on Saturday mornings at 10 am at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood (just west of the 405 Freeway between Sunset and Montana), log onto http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/.

Or if you want to know more about the current activities and future brainstorming sessions of the social action committee of Ahavat Torah, contact Estelle Fisher at mindbfree@yahoo.com or Sherry Modell at zabi123@aol.com.

The Health Benefits of Passionate Singing

2009-04-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

(Please feel free to send this weblog to anyone who is curious about places in Los Angeles where a strong sense of caring and connection can be found).

It's 11 a.m. on a Saturday morning. The passionate singing all around me has been building for almost an hour. While most of L.A. is at Starbuck's sipping coffee or on crowded streets running errands, there is a growing congregation called Ahavat Torah just west of UCLA that is singing ancient and modern melodies with intense participation and emotion.

As a psychologist by training, I step back for a moment from the beautiful melodies and the voices around me that are pouring out their gratitude, their longings, and their desires for peace and healing. I make a mental note to interview on Monday a few experts to find out exactly what might be the health benefits and the factual truth about this kind of passionate singing.

Can it really help improve a person's respiratory system and emotional well-being to be part of a lively congregation like this? Can it truly take a person to levels of awareness and connection beyond the usual mundane reality of urban living?

THE AEROBICS OF SINGING TOGETHER

On Monday morning I make a phone call to Joanna Cazden, a licensed speech pathologist and voice rehabilitation specialist for many years at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center (and now in private practice in Burbank and Santa Monica). I ask her to teach me what exactly goes on physically when people sing their hearts out like this on a Saturday morning.

Cazden explains that, "Passionate singing, especially in a non-judgmental group setting, involves a physical/aerobic activity where meaningful words and music are synchronizing with deep layers of the body, especially the breath system and the throat. This activity not only integrates the body and mind, but it also strengthens a positive social bond within a group."

That sounds healthy, but can it actually improve our immune system or our physical well-being?

Cazden is realistic as she comments, "There are no guarantees, but based on what I've seen with my voice clients and from various professional journals it's clear that each one of these components (the aerobic activity, the integration of body and mind, and the sense of being connected to a supportive group) has been shown in medical studies to promote health and resilience, so a combination should be expected to pack a mega-dose of wellness."

TRAVELLING TO BE INSPIRED

One of the most passionate participants at the Ahavat Torah weekly service of intense singing is Michael Stevens, a commercial real estate specialist in the West San Fernando Valley. Stevens was an early member of Ahavat Torah six years ago when it first began holding these highly-participatory singing and study events each Saturday morning on the westside of Los Angeles.

According to Stevens, "I loved the incredible singing and the warmth of the people in the new congregation, but I also wanted to find a similarly passionate service closer to where I live in the West Valley." So three years ago, Michael and his wife Lynn began to search for an inspiring community that would involve less time driving on area freeways.

But after a few months, Michael Stevens returned to Ahavat Torah and has been there almost every Saturday morning since. He explains, "There's something amazing that happens to your heart and your energy each week from being surrounded by interesting, loving people you care about deeply. Even though we're not a huge congregation, the passionate singing and the sincerity of caring and support are far beyond anything I've seen at other places. It's the highlight of my week to feel so alive and connected to something so meaningful and holy."

Michael Stevens is not the only person who travels a long distance to be a part of the passionate singing. Some congregants travel from Glendale, mid-Wilshire, the beach cities, and Topanga Canyon to be there for the weekly service in Brentwood of Ahavat Torah Congregation (which describes itself as "One People, One Torah, Many Teachers").

The Saturday morning gatherings consist of silent meditation and lively participatory singing and blessings led by Rabbi Miriam Hamrell, Cantorial Soloists Gary Levine and Kimberly Haynes, along with volunteer pianist Joel Warren and Kabbalistic drumming teacher Eli Lester. In a recent article in the Jewish Journal that also described Gary Levine's weekday career as a creative development executive at Showtime Television Network, the reporter explained that Levine's powerful opera-trained voice has the ability to carry a congregation along in participatory chanting, prayer, and meditation that reaches deeply into the soul.

THE BONES AND THE MUSCLES

In order to understand further how these "deep layers" of soulful, participatory singing work in practical terms, I decided to interview Anny Eastwood, a licensed therapist in Santa Barbara, who is also a voice physiology researcher and who developed a powerful healing method called "Miracle of Voice." I asked her to explain to me what goes on in the body when you're part of a lively congregation of passionate singers.

Eastwood told me she has found repeatedly that, "When we are singing whole-heartedly, we are rhythmically vibrating our physical structure to the deepest level. Our bones are like empty shells and act as a sound box for our voice, much like the hollow body of a guitar receives and projects the sound of its strings being strummed. When we sing passionately in our natural voices, we literally vibrate our bodies back into resonance."

According to Eastwood, "One essential way to improve our health and well-being is to release all the tensions from our week. Singing does this. We know that tense muscles cut off energy flow and interrupt healing. When we sing passionately within a group setting, the sound vibration not only loosens tension from each individual's muscles and bones, it also permeates the boundaries of skin and muscles to reach into the bones of others. As the song grows stronger, our voices naturally move toward harmony all on their own. We are literally resonating together bone to bone. The experience 'takes us' and we feel uplifted."

In her facilitation of various groups, Eastwood has found that, "A lively group singing with a lot of energy can harmonize their different rhythms and create a profound sense of community." She teaches her "Miracle of Voice" students (including professionals and those who can't carry a tune but love to sing) that "Talking is the voice of the mind; however, singing is the voice of the soul and opens us up to energies beyond limiting beliefs to the infinite realm of the spirit."

A SURPRISING RESULT

A skeptic still might be wondering if in a 21st century metropolis as large and spread out as Los Angeles, is it likely that singing passionately on a Saturday morning can truly make a difference? Several Gallup studies have shown that finding an inspiring community of passionate singers, study partners, and warm friendships is one of the best ways to stay healthy and reduce the stressful side-effects of a busy urban life. That's what Jane Best, a financial advisor and coach from New York, discovered a year after she moved to Los Angeles in 2007.

According to Best, "It had been many years since I'd attended Shabbat services, but when my new neighbor Ellen DuBois (a history professor at UCLA) invited me to services at Ahavat Torah in 2008, I was amazed at the warmth of the people and the intensity of their soulful singing. Rabbi Miriam, Cantor Gary, and the congregation create a space of 'No Holding Back' and it takes us each Shabbat to a place beyond limits." As a result, Jane Best soon became one of the newest members of the congregation and she recently invited one of her friends and several family members to join her at Shabbat services to participate in the passionate singing.

The neighbor who first invited Best to attend services, history professor Ellen DuBois, also found the singing at Ahavat Torah to be a surprisingly important part of her life. She admits, "Years ago when I was attending Sunday school, I tried out for junior choir and was told I couldn't sing well enough. I used to make a joke about the fact that I'd been turned down by junior choir."

According to DuBois, "But now as an adult, I find that when I participate in the passionate singing each week, especially during one of the most beautiful songs L'dor Va-dor (which means 'From Generation to Generation'), it connects me emotionally with my father and my grandmother. It's a welcome relief from the competitive and stressful pressures of the week. I've found in this congregation people are warm and not judgmental, so we can each sing out the ancient and modern melodies without being too self-conscious."

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For more information about vocal therapist Joanna Cazden, log onto http://www.voiceofyourlife.com/.

For info about Anny Eastwood and the "Miracle of Voice" workshops, contact 805 682-7006 or aeastwood@cox.net.

Or for more information about the services, classes, and social action programs of Ahavat Torah Congregation, log onto http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/. Or you can bring your imperfect voice and your passionate soul to the 10 a.m. Saturday morning services at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood, just west of the 405 freeway between Sunset Blvd. and Montana Avenue.